Faith

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Without the light, I am lost within this darkness that seems to stretch on for miles.

I have whimpered prayers of desperation on my knees that root into the earth below my soul in search of stable ground.

I have questioned Your plans for me time and time again with tears that soak my book of life as they plunge downwards onto these pages.

I was in denial of Your capabilities and of the promises You gave.

In denial that perhaps there would be a day that no longer felt it was left on pause.

In denial that one could have so much faith in something so unseen.

I open my mind to You, the One that resides above.

I kneel here as I surrender and ask for forgiveness.

Relief me of my sins.

For I have cursed Your name in my times of suffering.

Self-pity bound with my words as I deemed You the cause.

I separated myself from faith even when I knew it was what would aid me.

Now I sit on the bathroom floor, the brisk white tiles chilling my skin as I fixate my breathing.

I do not fear You nor do I fear myself.

I fear of the countless possibilities that are soon to come.

Good or bad, I am uncertain.

My hands now together in unity, my fingers interlocking into a prayer and my eyes soon fall heavy with eagerness.

This faith of mine is slight but it is not extinguished and will soon grow stronger than before.

I trust that I am being heard and given a second chance.

Forgive me, Lord.

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