Today | Stanley Barber X Reader

Chapter Fourteen

Holy cow the last time it updated was like almost 2 years ago maybe. But I lost inspo but I've gotten it back :D this one though don't got anything exciting 

I will accept criticism for it

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"Fuck my life." I groaned, my phone going straight to voicemail. He hasn't blocked my number, he just won't answer. Probably at Sydney's, having the time of his life. My stomach sunk at the thought. No, please don't let that be.

Jenny, she had to ruin everything. I can fucking kill her. Just the thought of actually bashing her head open sounds satisfying, but what's really satisfying is a drink right now. I don't think I can handle much more and want to forget this day, hell whole fucking year happened.

I got ready for school and walked. Normally Stanley would take me but, shit happens. I could hear his shitty car coming from his driveway down the road. I refused to look back in hopes he would stop and ask me for a ride. It was starting to look like it was about to poor. Thunder struck somewhere in the distance and I flinched, I really fucking hate storms. I used to love them when I was a kid but I don't know, things changed. Although I do enjoy rain if it's JUST raining. And not the type of rain that looks like a tropical storm.

I kept my head straight ahead as he drove by me, Syd was in the passenger seat and my stomach dropped. She gave me an apologetic look before they disappeared. Why is she looking at me like that. I don't want sympathy, especially from someone like her. God I hate it here, I hate this town, I hate being born, I hate everything. Fuck this shitty world.

But that be hypocritical to hate this world though, because it was me that chose to do all those shitty things. I chose to do drugs, to have meaningless sex, to not tell Stan how I felt sooner, all those awful life ruining choices I did on my own. So really this is just the consequences of my own actions.

At school Stan ignored me as usual. He never looked in my direction and I would find myself leaving class to cry in the bathroom. I couldn't stop crying, no matter how much I tried. It's like a ball would get caught in my throat if I held back tears and I wouldn't be able to breathe. I wouldn't mind no longer breathing.

I scratched my sleeves, trying to hide my cuts. I fucking hate myself.

I've broke everything that came into my path, I even broke my own promises. My cuts for example, I was self harm free for three years and I just...I just lost it. When I stopped crying and put the blade away I started bawling again because I immediately thought of how disappointed and disgusted Stan would be if he saw what I vowed to never do again. He was there when I was going through it, cried with me when he barged into my bathroom when I tried committing and no matter how much I fought and screamed for him to let me go, he held onto me tight. He did not once loosen his grip and stroked my hair, kissing my forehead and telling me everything is going to be okay, it's going to get better and that he's right by my side no matter what, and to never leave him. That memory broke me.

I took a look in the mirror to find my mascara smudged and I looked like complete shit. While wiping my tears with my sleeve the door open to reveal Syd. "What do you want?" I glared.

"I came to see if everything was alright." She says quietly.

"Never better." I cheered, she shifted her feet uncomfortable. "You can leave now...bye!"

She hesitated to get her words out, just leave Sydney. I don't want you here, especially not now. "Listen...I'm just saying that Stan will come around."

"Did he tell you that?"

"Well...no." She says in defeat.

"Then leave Sydney. You're honestly no good here, I don't even be anywhere near you right now."

"I know you're mad y/n but please...know that Stan will come around again. He's just angry but he loves you. Y'all grew up together and yes shit happens but I can definitely see y'all getting through this."

"Thanks for trying to cheer things up but it's obviously not helping." I shrugged, sitting on ledge from a window.

Syd sighs and sat up there with me. "Listen...I'm not too great at these but he'll come around, Stan always come around. I'm really sorry about what happened and I never realized what you were going through and yes, you did shitty things but..." She trailed off, trying to say the right thing but nothing came up.

I bit my lip, deciding to change the subject. "Who did you kiss at the party?" Syd looks down for a moment hesitating. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want too." 

"I kissed Dina.."

Oh my. "Uh...why did you kissed her." 

"I...I don't know. I just wanted too, but I shouldn't have because I scared her and she took off. I don't know what to do." She says quietly. "I liked it though, I really do."

"I'm sure you didn't scare her off, she was most likely shocked that's all. Dina's very understandable." Syd nods, her heads in the clouds now. I fumbled with my bracelets and jumped down. "Do you want to skip last period and just go hang out at my house?"

"Sure, that be great. My mom is picking up my brothers today thank god." She smiled and we both jumped down and I took a peek out of the bathroom door to make sure no teachers were in the hallway. I motioned for her to hurry as she grabbed my hands and we tip toed ran to the doors, giggling like madman. 

At my house no one was obviously home and she slumped down on my couch and put her feet on the coffee table. I put some pizza in the oven and sat down with her. "So, you've liked Stan this whole time?" I nodded, not wanting to talk about it and changed the subject. "How's it going with your...powers?"

"It's still hard to manage. It's hard to accept and learn about it and where this shit came from. I don't want this." I gave her an apologetic look, turning on the tv and flipping through channels. "It only ever happens when I'm upset and every time I try to cool down, I just can't and shit-you know. " She motions, pretending shit is blasting. I chuckled and stopped flipping channels to watch The Bride of Chucky.