Escape the Covenant || Shawmila [Completed]

Chapter 19

I've been sitting in the same position on my bed for at least three hours. Cross-legged with a book on my lap, I'm trying to discover the origins of my curse, but it's not that simple. My ancestors did a very good job at hiding truths and secrets, but I'm not one to give up. I know that at the end I'll find what I'm looking for, I just have to dig a little deeper.

I spend a lot of time reading, that's pretty much all I do all day long, and for a moment I feel like the old me: a good student and a responsible granddaughter. But even if I'm pretending that nothing's bothering me, the same beautiful face keeps on appearing at the back of my mind, reminding me what I'm getting away from.

The truth is that I'm simply trying to avoid Shawn. I'm dreading the time I'll see him again. Three days ago we almost kissed, then my grandma threatened to take action for our behavior, and we ended the day with an awkward and inappropriate dinner, the three of us seated at the same table with fake smiles on our faces. When Shawn left, I decided I needed some time alone. Almost seventy-two hours later and I'm still hiding inside my house, making up excuses for ghosting him. And right on time, like I sensed it, I get a notification from him.

Shawn: Are you willing to talk about what happened or do we have to keep on pretending you're not ignoring me?

I sigh and leave him on read, doing exactly what he's just said. I know he'll get tired soon and he'll stop texting me. He can't be that stubborn and insistent.

Shawn: Mila?

Shawn: Just answer me please

Shawn: I'll keep on bugging you, I don't care

Shawn: If you don't want to see me anymore, just say it, but don't give me the silent treatment

Shawn: Ok, I'm coming to your house, either you like it or not

Oh, come on! Just give me a break! Can't he take the hint? Well, obviously he can't. But the last thing I want is for him to come here again and have yet another unfortunate encounter with my gran.

Camila: Don't! Please, I'm very busy

Shawn: We need to talk and I'm tired of waiting

I roll my eyes and grind my teeth in annoyance. He's getting on my nerves like nobody else has ever done, still there's nothing he could do that could make me despise him.

Camila: You're something else! Fine, I'll meet you at the river in ten

I take a look in the mirror and cringe at the vision. My hair is greasy and ruffle, black circles frame my tired eyes and my clothes are wrinkled. There's no way I'm leaving the house like this. I take a quick shower, not minding at all if I'm going to be late, then I dry up and put on a short sundress with white chucks, hoping it'll prevent me from stewing.

Heading towards my destination, I torture my hands nervously and bite my lower lip until I taste blood. I've never been this anxious before. My palms are getting sweaty and my pulse starts to race, I'm even feeling a little dizzy. And then I see him. He's like a vision, a mirage. He's standing at one side of the stream, pacing in circle and waiting for me. His face is scrunched up in distress, showing that he's as troubled as me. I get close just enough for him to acknowledge my presence, but not to reach for my hand or touch me. I cross my arms in front of my chest, feeling extremely exposed, and wait for him to talk.

He looks at me in a way I can't describe, maybe a mix of urgency, annoyance and worry. «You're almost an hour late»

I shrug faking indifference. «I told you I was busy». My words come out harsher than intended, and I see them stinging him.

He runs a hand through his messy curls while avoiding my stare. I can hear the gears in his brain jangling while he attempts to blurt out what he wants to say, and I know it's not an easy task. He takes a deep breath and then talk. «Why are you avoiding me? »

«Straight to point I see» I tell him sarcastically. «I'm not, by the way»

«Bullshit, Mila. You've been ghosting me for three days and now you're here just because I threatened to show up at your house»

«What can I say? I needed some space»

«From me? Did I make you uncomfortable? »

No, absolutely not! Actually, quite the opposite... I shake my head and he relax instantly. «No, Shawn. But I think we're becoming too close, too attached to each other. I need to slow down and spend more time by myself»

He takes a step towards me. «But why? Is it because we almost kissed, or is it because of your grandmother?»

«Both... I think»

«So, what was that the other day? Maybe I'm stupid and I misinterpreted the signs, but when we were on your bed I though... well yeah, I thought you wanted me to kiss you. And now you're telling me that you need space, that you need to slow down. I've never been this forward with anyone, Mila, and I'm really exposing myself right now. I'm totally uncomfortable and I'm probably making a fool out of myself, but the truth is that I like you, and I think you like me too, and I don't want to be friends. I don't want to give you space or time, and I definitely don't want to slow down. So please, if you really want to be left alone, just say that I'm a buffoon, that you don't like me even remotely and that you don't want to see me again».

I look at him, my eyes wide and my mouth open, stunned from all of this information. For the umpteenth time he has left me speechless. «Shawn... ». I don't want to break his heart or make him regret his confession, but the alternative is to tell him the truth. However, his pleading eyes beg me to say something, his entire demeanor is screaming to give him a chance, and I don't have it in myself to hurt him with another omitted truth.

«Shawn, I can't». I let myself fall on the ground, sitting gracelessly, hiding my face in my hands. «You better sit, I have something to tell you». Tears prickle at the corner of my eyes, and Shawn take my hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

«Oh Mila, what's happening? ». His sweet voice and soft hands are a reminder of how much I don't deserve him or his presence. He just poured his heart out, giving me every tool to hurt him, and he's now soothing me.

«Before we start, I want you to know that I like you too. I tried to deny it too many times, but my heart can't lie. Unfortunately, this doesn't make it easier to confess the rest. Actually, it's making it even worse».

He dries one of my tears with his thumb, then kisses the back of my hand softly. «Don't worry, you've got this»

«I can't be with you, or anyone else, Shawn. My mom, my gran, every member of my family, me included, aren't allowed to love or be loved. Centuries ago, someone casted a course on our bloodline, a bitter revenge on something that I know nothing about. As a result, every time we fall in love and we fulfill that feeling, we... die. A heated kiss, a night of passion, even a simple promise of timeless love between to people, can ignite the burning curse. And "burning" is not an understatement. If I let free my love for you, I'll be enveloped by flames that will rise from my own body. I'll die torching, bringing you with me. Both us will suffer the same dreadful end». I sob shamelessly, avoiding his gaze. «I don't care if I die, I recently understood that life without love is meaningless, but I don't want you to die because of me, and definitely I don't want you to die that way».

Shawn moves a strand of my hair behind my shoulder and kiss me on my temple with such affection that makes me want to cry even harder. With his lips still near my ears he whispers: «We'll find a way, honey».