Hold My Girl (spencer reid x oc) ✅

pen-pals

Dear Spencer,

Hi! It's kinda hard to figure out what to say. I don't want to bum you out with everything that is happening over here, because the only thing you should be focused on is yourself. But I'll tell you the important stuff. Your mom is staying with my dad and Cheryl for a while. He wanted to take some stress off my plate and they both wanted to help. Your mom loves it there. Her room is spacious, but not too big. She also loves the view from her window and their back porch. She still worries about you on her good days, but I guess it's a blessing that she can forget. Delilah is trying real hard to stay strong, just like you asked her. She was really happy to write you a letter, so I'm sure she's over there giving you a novel. She's very focused. She's got a furrowed brow and her lip between her teeth, just like her old man. During the day, it's somewhat manageable. But at night, it's tough. She hasn't spent a night in her own bed yet and we spend our nights holding each other until exhaustion takes over. I've been off of work and she went back to school finally. She's gonna start seeing a social worker and I'll be talking to my therapist more, but don't you go and start worrying about something that is out of your control. I love you, you know that? I'll spend every day of the rest of my life reminding you that, even more so now than before. Til death do us part, baby. Stay safe. Love you, Ariel

I reread the letter before sealing it in an envelope. Penelope had sent word that they were finishing up the case, so I figured we start our letters and we could drop them off when they got back.

"All done!" Delilah exclaimed, placing her letter into an envelope. "Alright, let's go deliver these to aunt Penny."

We were out the door and on our way over to the BAU. As we approached Emily's office, I could see her and Penelope chatting. I knocked on the door and their attention was focused on us. "We've got a couple deliveries to make."

"Well hi! Slide those letters right on in." Penelope said, smiling brightly at the both of us. Delilah took the letters and put them into the large and decorated envelope Penelope was holding. She gave both of us a squeeze before whisking Delilah away to her office.

"So, how are things going? I heard Diana is with your dad."

"She's doing good. She really likes it over there with them. I wish I could say that our household was as happy. Delilah went back to school and it wasn't that great."

"No, what happened?"

I could feel tears start to spring in my eyes, but I tried to fight them off. "She was having a good morning. But they started reading a story about a father and son and she started crying. That was the first of a few breakdowns that she's had. I already had to explain to the school our situation, so they knew things might be difficult for her. She's gonna be seeing the social worker everyday now."

A few stray tears had fallen. "What about you, how are you doing?"

"I try and stay strong when I'm around Dee. Because once I start, she starts, and then we're both a mess of tears and snot. So I hide it. But when she's not around... I just sob. I had a call with my therapist, we're going to have more sessions now. And I feel awful because he's probably so scared and I'm over here being dramatic when his life is in danger."

Emily pulled me into a hug as I cried into her shoulder. "You are not being dramatic. All three of you are hurting, your family is being torn apart. But you are so strong. I am so proud of you and we are in your corner."

I stayed in her embrace a little while longer until Penelope and Delilah popped back into the office, a sucker in my daughter's mouth. "The least I could do was give her a sucker. That makes everyone even just a tiny bit happier. Isn't that right, Dee?"

She nodded at her aunt, a smile plastered on her face.

"Thanks, Penelope. I saw the visitation board, it's great."

"Aw, it's the least I could do. I would also like to stress, in case you didn't see, is that you always have unlimited visitation opportunities. Everyone is more than willing to offer up their turn in order for you to go."

I pulled her into a hug, her perfume clouding my senses. I feel like everyone needed a Garcia in their lives. The people that don't must have a duller life than mine, that's for sure.

"Thank you guys. But we have to get back home, someone has some homework to finish up."

"By aunty Penny and aunty Emily!" We waved goodbye and made our way out of the BAU, Delilah's eyes lingering on her father's desk for a little while longer.

As the week went on, we tried our best to stay strong. Delilah still had her bad days at school, but she was really trying. She finally spent a night in her own bed. Well, she made an attempt. At 11 pm, she had wiggled into my bed after a bad dream. I was still struggling, but was still getting by. I hadn't gone back to work yet, but I was starting to get antsy at home.

But our week got better when we got some letters from one Spencer Reid. Delilah was so excited to get a letter from her dad. She read it to me out loud and the look on her face was priceless. A little later, I went off to read my own letter.

Dear Ariel,

Hey, love. The letters I got from you guys really cheered me up. I'm glad to hear thag my mom is doing well. I've been contemplating sending her a letter, but I don't want to make her more upset. I loved hearing from Delilah. Her letter brought a smile to my face when I was in desperate need of one. She is so precious and I think of the both of you every night before I drift off to sleep. I think about holding you both and it brings me a little bit of comfort in this joyless place. It hurts knowing that you're in pain and I can't be there to help you. Just know that my heart is with you and thinking about my girls is what's keeping me motivated. You'll be happy to know that I've made 2 friends, Calvin and Luis. They're not you or the team, but they're helping me get by. Thank you for sticking by my side through all of this. I don't know what I'd do without you, probably crash and burn. Just know that I love you so much and I'm going to spend the rest of my life making this up to you.
Forever and Always, Spencer

By the time I got to the end, I was crying. We had written each other love letters pretty much since we started dating. Spencer would always end his letters the same way. 'Forever and Always'. Even though this wasn't really a love letter, he still ended it the same way. His love could be seen with every bit of his chicken-scratch letter.

I looked over to see that Delilah had already started on her next letter to Spencer. Yep, she was definitely a daddy's girl.

"Hey mom?"

"What's up sweetie?"

"I know where daddy is."

I froze up at her words, my face contorting into one of confusion as I watched her write.

"You do?"

"I heard you talking to aunt Emily the other day. You said he was at a 'prison'. I looked it up in the encyclopedia dad gave me and I learned about it."

Too smart for her own good, just like her father.

"I know I'm too young to understand everything that happened, but daddy's not a criminal. Bad people go to prison, and my dad is not a bad person."

I walked over to give her a hug and press a kiss to her hair.

"That's right, baby. No matter what people may tell you, your dad is a very good person who loves us very much."

"Did he go away because of me?"

I could see the gears turning in her head and the tears come to her eyes. I squeezed her a little tighter.

"It's not your fault, baby. He didn't leave because of you. Just remember that."

She gave me another squeeze and wiped her eyes before getting back to her letter. I sat next to her and started my own letter, realizing that my husband has now turned into my pen-pal.

Sorry this chapter was a little short. The next ones will be longer!