My Euphoria || J.JK Fanfic

Thirteen

Hey. If you're reading this right now that means I'm no longer in the earth. I've written this letter because I have few things to tell you which I couldn't tell you face to face. There are few things you need to know.

First of all, I knew that I was dying. I had blood cancer. Doctors identified it 3 months ago. It was on the last stage and there was nothing to do. They told that I had only 3 months to live. My world went upside down from that day. I know you had noticed that I was keeping myself away from everything. Sorry I couldn't give you much time. But thanks for still bearing with me. I know you're mad right now that why I didn't tell you. Actually I didn't dare to tell you. Cause I knew how much it would hurt you. You wouldn't be able to take it if I told you. And it was hard for me to watch you breaking down. The doctors tried their best to keep me alive with the medicines. But the medicines refused to work at a time. I was running out of time. Then I broke up with you. I know I behaved so bad, so harsh that day. I'm sorry. I didn't have any other choices.

I know you were so hurted that day. It was written on your face. But trust me, I felt thousand times more pain that what I had given to you. I hated myself for breaking up with you. I couldn't forgive myself for hurting you like that. But I did it for you, only for you. I wanted you to forget me and continue your life. You have a beautiful life ahead. I wanted you to find someone else, someone much better than me and live your life happily with him. I don't know if you have moved on from it, but I couldn't. I only used to think about you. Sometimes I felt like calling you at the dead of night, just to hear your voice, for once, but I couldn't. I used to think about the promises we made. I promised to marry you one day. Sorry I couldn't keep that. We promised each other to see the world together and grow old together. Sorry I couldn't keep that either. You know it hurts thinking I won't be the one to stay next to you anymore. It'll be someone else. Well, I shouldn't be too selfish. Haha.

Find someone who'll love you and keep you happy always, ok? And forget about the things I told you that day on the park. Each and every words of mine was a lie. I know they've broken your heart into thousand pieces. But they were truly nothing but a lie. You're not ugly, you're a princess. No, million times more beaitiful than a princess. And you're my type, definitely my type. You're my one and only. You're the most amazing girl I've ever seen. You glow like a diamond when you smile. And I could spend my whole life only watching you smiling. But my misfortune.

I'm sorry again, sorry for everything I did. I never meant to do it only if I wasn't helpless. I'm ashamed that I couldn't even apologize to you face to face. I'm such a coward, right? But please, can you forgive me? Just one more time? Please. That's my only request. This diary has some of our photos and some messages from me to you. I've decorated this diary with so much love and care. If you still hate me for whatever I've done, then burn this diary after finishing this letter. And if you forgive me then keep this to you.

I have one more request. Please, don't forget me if you still love me. Keep me in a small corner of your memories and that would be enough. I'll feel happy thinking that My Euphoria has remembered me even when I'm not in the same world with her. I told you that I love you so many times. But I never told you that you're My Euphoria. Yes, you are. You're the one who brought back the sunrise again in my life. You taught me live again. And that's why you're My Euphoria.

Take care. And never keep thinking about the past. Move on. I hope we'll meet one day, in a different place, in a different world. And I'll find you that day by calling you 'My Euphoria.'