24. Her Matcha Ice-Cream

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TYLER'S POV

A numbness settled over me

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A numbness settled over me. The tips of my fingers turned chilly yet my palms were clammy from the sweat. From my peripheral vision, I saw that Brandon was calling out to me but his voice was distant. The sound of my fast heartbeat boomed inside my ears and drowned out everything else. Brandon wrapped his hands around my arm and shook me gently. When I didn't respond, he rubbed my arms up and down but even the friction couldn't generate any heat on my ice-cold body. The dreaded words echoed inside my head but I refused to register the meaning behind them. Was this some kind of joke? Could I just laugh it off? How else was this supposed to make sense?

"Tyler?" Brandon shifted closer to me, trying to pull me into a hug, but I was rigid. "Ty, are you listening?"

I tried to pull myself out of his grasp. My fingers were trembling and Brandon was reluctant to let go. But after a little bit of struggle, he relented. I intertwined my fingers together and tried to gather myself. But it was useless. However hard I squeezed my hands, it couldn't take away the fear creeping up my chest. There were too many frightening thoughts inside my head. I hated myself for even thinking about it, but in that one moment, I'd already lived through all the worst possibilities.

Quickly, I shut my eyes and shook my head to clear the horrifying image out of my head. No! I stood up abruptly and took a step away from the bench. I just wanted to run away from here but it was a bad decision.

A weird nausea swirled inside my stomach and my vision swam in front of my eyes. My knees buckled and I almost fell. Brandon quickly caught me in his arms. I yelped and clung to his shoulders to not fall off the bench. My breath came to me in short shallow gasps, and I couldn't breathe deeply even if I tried to.

"Listen to me, Tyler." Brandon brushed his hands over my head and continued to stroke my hair in an attempt to calm me down. His other hand wrapped around my torso protectively and he rocked me in his arms. I struggled a little but he didn't let me go this time. His voice was firm yet gentle as he said, "They're still testing her. It's not confirmed yet."

His words penetrated the fog inside my head. I blinked and looked up at him. "Mom...she'll be fine?"

My voice cracked. I could feel the dryness in my mouth. It was parched--whether from thirst or fear--I didn't know. My heart was still beating wildly but a flicker of hope was ignited inside my chest. As quickly as I had lost myself in the sea of doom, I lapped onto this positive news and prayed for it to be true.

In a much louder voice, I asked, "She's fine?"

Brandon didn't answer. His face was close to mine and I could see my reflection in his eyes. His eyes carried the same pain and hesitance. My heart squeezed at his look and the fear returned. What did it mean? Before I could spiral down into a darker abyss, Brandon took my hand in his hand and placed it on his cheek. The touch somehow grounded me back to reality. He held my hand there until I felt my fingertips grow warm with his touch. A small smile grazed his lips and he whispered, "We don't know for sure, Ty."

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