meet me in the hallway |h.s|

55 | changes

We're not who we used to be
We're not who we used to be

We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me

• • •

Blindly, I search for Harry's warm body, but I'm met with a cold side on the bed. I open my eyes, perplexed, and see that the other side is empty, just like I had presumed. The only thing echoing in the room is the rain sounds coming from outside.

Where is he?

Just to make sure he's okay, I look at the digital clock on his nightstand. When I see four a.m. on the clock, I furrow my eyebrows, confused. What is he doing at this time of the night?

I sit up on the bed, slightly wincing because of the pain I feel on my ass. Last night was amazing, and I hope he got some sleep after it. I hope he's not thinking about the hiatus right now. I know that it's probably the only thing on his mind, but I thought that sex would make him forget, at least for the whole night.

What Harry did during our sex... It was his way to cope with everything going on right now. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. On the contrary, Harry can use me whenever he wants to get out some of the frustration within him.

I look around the dark room, hoping to see him somewhere but nothing. Even the door to the bedroom is closed. He left to not bother me or be unbothered. He left the room to be alone, and I know that I should go back to sleep now, but I want to make sure he's okay being left alone right now.

My hands push the duvet aside, and I sling my feet off the bed, meeting the cold floor. I shiver goes down my spine because of the change of temperature, and I push myself off the bed, standing on my feet, grimacing at the soreness I feel throughout my entire body.

I let my feet carry me towards the door, yawning and stretching my arms. I wrap my hand around the door handle and pull the door open for me, exiting the room, feeling a cold rush embrace my body.

Harry is not talkative in moments like this. He struggles to open and being vulnerable with me... well, in general. He thinks that keeping it to himself is better than letting it out. He's scared that I'll run away if he tells me what's really going on. But he doesn't have to be because I will be there if he decides to let it out.

As much as I love him... we've known each other for almost three years now, and I feel like nothing has really changed between us. It's still the same thing. I feel like he's still the same since when I met him. But me, on the other side, I can feel how I'm not the girl he met backstage once. I'm not who I used to be, but Harry is. He still doesn't speak to me when he's at his worst. Maybe he did change though, but I just don't see it because he has grown by my side or he just acts that way to hide the emotions he truly feels. Harry only lets me peek through the window. I only get to see what he wants me to see because he never really lets me inside. He knows I'm watching and that's why he hides his real self from me. The only way to him is through the door... But the door is always closed.

As I walk further down the dark hallway towards the stairs, feeling a pit in my stomach, I begin to hear something else apart from the rain.

Guitar accords... the same tones he played once to me.

But something has changed in the tones. It doesn't sound soothing like it once used to do, it sounds sad, and it feels like he's opening that door through the melody.

I quietly walk down the stairs to not interrupt him, spotting Harry sitting in front of the door to the backyard. The door's open, rain slightly pouring inside the house as he inhales and exhales deeply as if the rain could calm him down, making him relax just like it does to me.