"u lost baby girl?" - my name is cassandra, and im in love with draco malfoy. he is my whole world, but he'll never notice me. i am such a nerd and im too quirky. draco bullies me because of my blood status. im a dirty lil mudblood. howdy, and welcome to writing bad fanfiction while high with my bestie. we decided to write this because we like doing funny accents while reading smut. picture this ur in a room with an english fellow and he says "YOU DIRTY PILLOCK YOU LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE WANKER" anyway this is us mostly making fun of british people #15 - condoms (apparently)