Anagapesis
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  • Parts 3
  • Time 1h 2m
  • Reads 7
  • Votes 0
  • Parts 3
  • Time 1h 2m
Ongoing, First published Sep 06
Mature
the hours we spent simply laying there blurred together, neither of us wanting to break the comforting silence, i would not accept her affection and she would never have to feel regret or pain, if she never asked, i wouldn't have to respond. 

Ide keep pretending i didn't notice the stares at the library or at the park when i knew i was supposed to be alone, that the camera's and voice recorders hidden in my room didn't exist, that a number of my clothes hadn't gone missing from my hamper, that the videos and fake chat that had nearly gotten me expelled if not for her 'stepping in and finding the culprit' had not come from her. if she never asked i would never have to answer. we would stay the same. if only she never asked
.
.
.
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she asked.
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"What else do you want me to say, Mia?" "Did you mean it?" There is a pause and I just-I feel exhausted, the kind that 12 hours of sleep hasn't been able to fix. "Hannah said I don't deserve to be loved, is that how you feel too?" She might not have said it in as many words but that's exactly what she meant. He takes my hand in his and kisses it. "Between the both of us-it's I who doesn't deserve to be loved." "Too bad you already are." "Please stop saying it!" he may not have screamed the words at me but he might as well have. "You think I am lying?" He holds my face with both his hands and looks deep in my eyes. "Mia, I will say this for the last time. I don't do love. I don't want to be loved by anyone and I will never fall in love with anyone ever. If you love me, keep that love to yourself. Please." "Why?" "This is the deal, Mia. Take it or leave it. I will give you my loyalty and my time but I will not have you telling me you love me ever again. I don't believe in love and I can't give you love. Can you live with that?" "What if I can't?"