Fist up is the commentive part:
I really enjoyed this excerpt from the story! It's originality reflects in the way that she's not the omega falling in love with the heir to the alpha throne (is that a right term?) and in the fact she doesn't even want to fall in love in the first place, though my the title of the story and by most story standards, I'm assuming she eventually does, even if it is slow. This story puts a nice spin on the typical "girl falls in love with mysterious alpha" type, and it's nice to see a change.
Now for the constructive (pointing out cliches) part:
Bridgette is the typical mean girl/opposing romance threat that there are in most stories on any writing cite. Always wearing makeup, always trying to get the boys, all of that stuff is commonly found in nearly every story. Maybe dial her personality up - does she have a reason for being an evil playgirl (my weird term)? There has to be some reason why she acts the way she does. Maybe it's her father?
Speaking of the alpha, you've done a fairly well job of making him stand out. He's not the "alluring" young alpha male that's always on every werewolf story, but instead an older, more experienced alpha. The only flaw with him is that he has the typical alpha personality, - I don't know much about werewolves, maybe they're all like this? - tough, hard, doesn't like help, that sort of stuff. Just like Bridgette, he needs a reason behind his character, and you've not yet given him a reason for acting like he does.
Rayne is a hard to get girl, and I like that about her. She wants nothing to do with love and romance and doesn't put up with idiots like Wilson and his daughter. I'm interested to see where you go with this story and thing character, as her character needs to be further explored, though you've done a great job providing her backstory so far.
Either way, it's nice to see a change of pace from normal werewolf stories, and I'm interested and excited to see where you go with this story.
