Ariba

If I have to give my honest opinion, it's sort of bland. The chapters are also too small.
          P.S. The "characters" in this story are more like plot devices than characters. I believe developing the characters will bring this story up a notch. Otherwise, it has a lot of untouched potential... You should probably also re-write the events that happen but skim out the unnecessary bits and keep the suspense because the suspense you're trying to achieve in this story is not exactly working out... at all.