BKosi

Then, because life loves drama, I posted a sweet Mother’s Day tribute… and out of nowhere an aunt pops up to “remind” me my mum died in August. As if I somehow forgot. I told her it was UK Mother’s Day — Germany’s is in May — but honestly, the audacity. She hasn’t spoken to me since 2024, can’t read English, and still didn’t think to use Google Translate before making a nasty comment. Sigh. I truly don’t know what I’ve done to deserve that kind of treatment. Hypocritical family… better off without. Friends are the real family anyway.
          
          But you know what? I’m not letting any of that ruin my mood. I’m choosing happiness, peace, and people who are genuine with me. And of course, my doggies — the only creatures who are 100% honest, loyal, and dramatic in all the right ways.
          
          Here’s to spring, sunshine, tiny chaos gremlins in harnesses, and living life with people (and pups) who actually deserve us.
           #March #spring #chihuahua #family
          
          https://bikosiwriter-uvjty.wordpress.com/2026/03/18/life-updates-sunshine-chihuahuas-and-reflections/

 It’s that time again… and honestly, I’m as shocked as anyone.
          
          WOW. Spring has finally decided to show up. Heating off, sunshine on, and temperatures above 15°C — which in the UK basically counts as a heatwave. Naturally, this means it’s time to stop haunting the same three parks and go exploring new places with the doggies. Thank God the weather now allows it without me freezing into a human ice lolly.
          
          Of course, before any “exploring” can happen, there’s the daily Olympic sport of getting the harnesses on. By the time I’ve wrangled both Chihuahuas into their gear, they’re sprinting to the door like they’re late for a royal coronation… and I’m already sweating, knackered, and questioning my life choices. Classic Chihuahua behaviour. Do your Chi’s do this too — or is mine just possessed by tiny, adorable demons? Never a dull moment.
          
          And somehow, it’s already mid‑March. Nearly April. We literally just celebrated New Year’s 2026 and now the year is sprinting ahead like my dogs when they hear the word “walkies”. I keep thinking I haven’t achieved much, but then I look at the list and actually… I’ve done alright:
          
          - Sorted out the energy debt with OVO
          - Got myself a new fridge/freezer (adulting level: expert)
          - Fixed my monthly budget so me and the doggies can have a little leftover
          - Found pet insurance within budget — honestly, that alone deserves a parade
          - Still saving for the snip/snap for the doggies
          - Nearly finished writing my story (just editing left… send strength)
          - Finally had my ambulatory procedure after waiting over two years
          - Still hunting for funding for my studies
          - And plenty more done — and still to do...

Another Mother’s Day coming up — **Happy Mother’s Day**, wherever you are. She’s been gone since 2018 and, truth be told, it’s still a bit raw. We didn’t always get on, but she was my mum and she did her best as a young single mother in the 1970s and 80s. I was born deaf into a hearing family, so it wasn’t easy for either of us, but there was love — even when it was a bit much (that’s a tale for another time).  
          
          Tomorrow marks eight years without her, so I’ll be taking the doggies to the beach in her memory — can’t get to her grave in Germany, but I’m sure she’ll approve of a long walk and muddy paws. 
          
          Don’t be sad if you’re missing your mum; remember the good bits, the messy bits, and the ridiculous ones. She wouldn’t have wanted me moping about. Whether she’s watching from above, below, or somewhere in between — who knows? — I like to think she’s keeping an eye on me. 
           #MothersDay

Thirty-five years ago today I passed my driving test — proper adulting moment — and two years later I added a motorbike licence to the collection. 
          
          I’ve had a blast with buses, lorries and long-haul shifts, but since my fibromyalgia diagnosis I’m driving heavy vehicles far less and mostly stick to the car and bike. 
          
          Now I’m torn: redo the tests to keep everything up-to-date (and pay the insurance premiums), or simplify to a standard car licence and stop throwing money at things I rarely use? 
          
          Save now and maybe lose a future job option, or spend now and keep doors open — classic dilemma. 
          
          I’m not getting any younger, energy’s lower, and frankly I’d rather spend my time reading the next good book or sorting the girls (my dogs) who are currently a bit dramatic and in need of pants. 
          
          Spring-cleaning can wait; I’m leaning towards keeping life simple and sensible — but the indecisive part of me is still asking, shall I or shall I not?
           #DrivingLicence #SpringCleaning

Feeling a lot better but still rocking that post-ambulatory wobble — apparently 2–4 weeks to fully reboot, so week one: survived. Ha. Weekend’s nearly gone and I’ve zero film vibes; might read, might faff about, definitely will do a few chores to feel vaguely productive.
          
          Two doggies are currently auditioning for Wrestlemania over the best sleeping spot despite acres of cushions. Classic. I’m mostly online, dropping hot takes and helpful advice, then retreating to my sofa spa until the doc gives the green light.
          
          Signing off for now — sending hugs, love and a stern warning to anyone who steals my fennel socks. Be kind to yourselves and enjoy the rest of the weekend. Lots of love.
           #WeekendVibes #LotsofLove

Enforced rest this week — my fingers are already twitching to write, but I’m still a bit weak and sore, so weekend it is. In the meantime I’m scribbling in my little notebook like a secret agent before making anything public. It’s that time of the month again: bills, payments, sighs, and another looooooooong month looming. Switched the heating off to save costs — it’s above 10°C, so we’re practically in the tropics now — and if I get chilly I’ve got my trusty fennel socks and pyjamas to do the job.
          
          Big win: jobcentre budget advance sorted me a new mobile — goodbye 64GB that was always at max, hello 512GB (already half-full, naturally). Battery looks a bit sus so I’ll pop into the Apple Store next week and get it checked, but for now I’m basking in glorious storage freedom and not panicking every time I try to take a photo. Continuing to rest, catch up on reading and pretend I’m on a spa break rather than a sofa convalescence.
          
          Have a lovely Thursday evening — I’ll be back after the weekend, refreshed and probably over-ambitious. 
          
          Anyone else surviving on fennel socks and optimism? Cheers.
           #fennelsocks #64GBvs512GB #scribbling

2 March: ambulatory procedure ticked off, now home on sofa duty and smothering the doggies with cuddles. 
          
          This week’s plan: catch up on news and emails, keep plugging away at my story, and brace for that annual joy — another rent increase from April. Oh dear, oh dear — everything’s going up; can us poor mortals even keep up? 
          
          Had a lovely natter with my BSL terp about studying while unemployed, but of course the course fee — nearly £9K — waved goodbye to that dream. It’s a proper shame that people trying to upskill are blocked by cost, even when some courses are discounted; university-level fees still feel like a locked door. 
          
          So, pivoting to creative writing: not a fortune-maker yet, but better than staring at the ceiling. I’ll keep applying for jobs, keep writing, and not give up — there’s always a new beginning at the end of the circle. 
          
          Who’s with me in turning unpaid time into plotlines (or at least decent tea breaks)? 
           #NewChapter

Hm — two days left of February and March is already queueing up like it’s got somewhere better to be. 
          
          Spring’s flirting with the windows, but it’s still raining, so I’m torn about switching the heating off or keeping it on for emotional support. 
          
          Budget says off; my toes say not yet. Any hot takes? 
          
          I’ll be spending the weekend buried in my story — brace yourselves, the twist is coming and it’s delightfully nasty. 
          
          Read it on Wattpad if you fancy a bit of chaos. 
          
          Exciting times ahead — have a brilliant weekend, lovelies.
           #WeekendVibes #Spring #Wattpad

Woke up to the joyous horror of Monday (cue *Manic Monday* in my head) and immediately remembered I hate Mondays. 
          
          While I was waiting for my appointment I had a lovely vent with my BSL terp about the absolute circus that is OVO Home— they’ve been utterly unapproachable about a debt that’s ballooned into something obscene. 
          
          I’m on UC, I sent proposals *on numerous occasions*, set up a DD to keep my energy on and chip away at the arrears, and what do they do? Go over my head and **change the DD amount** to something laughably unrealistic. 
          
          I even had a debt-advice session with the CAB; we worked out a bare-bones budget that actually lets me live for a month, and they still refused to accept it, insisting I use another debt service despite me being able to *prove* the CAB meeting. 
          
          So I stopped the DD, emailed them to back off, and stuck to the budget like a stubborn boot.
          
          Long story short: came back from my hospital appointment and got the best Monday news ever — the grant I applied for to clear the energy debt was **approved**. 
          
          I cannot describe the relief; all that simmering rage and despair just *poof* — gone. 
          Massive, massive thanks to the team at @EnergyProjectPlus for making it happen. 
          
          Liverpool was eerily quiet this morning (half-term, apparently — lucky them), and while I haven’t had a holiday in ages because my budget is a joke, today feels like a tiny victory. 
          
          Cheers to small mercies and to finally sleeping a bit easier. 
          
          Anyone else had a Monday miracle that made them want to cry with relief? 
           #EnergyProjectPlus #ManicMonday #February2026 #HalfTerm

WOW — nearly the end of February and would you look at that: still here, still loud, still taking up space. 
          
          I’ve been fighting for a spot in my life, a spot in your daily routine, a spot in the human race’s VIP list — despite being broke, unemployed and neck-deep in debts. 
          
          Born deaf and the only deaf girl in a houseful of hearing folk, it took me ages to claim my identity: DEAF, yes; human, absolutely; unstoppable, you bet. 
          
          I didn’t need to prove myself to anyone else — I needed to prove to me how far I could go.
          
          There’ve been the usual extras: jealousy, envy, backstabbing, false friends, dodgy health days — the lot. 
          
          But hey ho, I’m still here and still fighting. March, you’ve got one job: watch me tick off the goals I set in my head. 
           #StillHere #DeafAndProud #MarchReady