Fate Brought Us Together // on hold

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 22: 𝑆𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠.

Hero Fiennes Tiffin.

It's been a week and I've been sick as hell, I dragged Josephine in it too, but today I feel better that means I'm not sick anymore, today I just want to cuddle with my girl like the last week but today is different. Today I'm feeling pretty good and I hope does too. I've been laying on my side just to look at that beautiful angelic girl next to me. God how did I got her to be mine? I don't deserve her, how can she even be this perfect.

"Hero stop fucking staring," she stirs in my thoughts.

"Stop fucking talking," I tell her and try to get lost in my thoughts again but she sits up.

"Ugh, I remember how annoying you are, asshole" she moans annoyed and puts her head in her pillow.

"Thanks," I chuckle, I can't see her face but I know she is rolling her eyes. I love this sassy little thing but she can be annoying as hell but year I love her and she is all mine. This beautiful, intelligent, smart, pretty, gorgeous, sexy, extremely hot but yet hurt and small thing is mine. I don't deserve her and I've told her that but yet she stays with me but I don't understand why but yet I'm selfish enough to take her as long as she wants me.

"Hero, we need to get a job done today, so get-" she wants to do the job again before her father finds out she wasn't doing them with me for over the week cause we have arranged some things but no way in hell she is going she is still a bit sick and vomits some times but I don't do I'll go alone.

"Baby sssst, I'm going you'r still sick, and I think you'r getting better but you need to stay in bed, take a nice long shower put some of my clothes on and before you know it I'll be back. And if you behave I have a suprise for you when I'm back." She thinks this is where I life but I want her to show my real home and maybe let her live with me and I may have thought about giving a little girl a change... I know I hate kids and I told her that and she acted so weird that day but this week I've seen sides of her and deeply thought and I may want a little girl I mean imagine a little version of her.

Josephine finally agrees on staying home and taking a shower, I get dressed and get up the package and deliver it, I've send Felix a text to control the gang and that's it almost time for our plan, I haven't told josephine about our plan but I like to keep it like that for a while at least.

                Josephine Langford.

Hero left and promised me a suprise I hope it's a good one cause I've been sick and tired of this bed all though it's very comfy but I want to do stuff. Hero also hasn't touched me like yeah he has kissed me en cuddled me but when I wanted to go further he stopped me, maybe he thinks I'm unattractive. Maybe he has changed his mind about loving me, maybe he is leaving me? No, no, no, stop thinking this, he isn't leaving you... ugh! I get in the shower and I'm going to take my time I want to at least look good when he breaks up with me... o my god! Stupid fucking mind! I wash my hair with shampoo, then conditioner we have ordered some products so I can clean myself cause I wasn't liking this smell in my hair I mean it smells ducking perfect with Hero but I'm used to something else, i moisture my legs and shave, I shave everywhere where needed and scrub my body. I turn the shower off and brush me teeth, I put some buttercream on my legs and put on a grey sweat from Hero with a white crop top I ordered some day I was bored. I like this I mean it's revealing and showing just enough and it won't make Hero jealous... I hope... no it's going to make him jealous everything makes him jealous. I put on some lipgloss and mascara and I lay on bed watching a movie, I think I watched while Netflix when me and Hero where alone.

When Hero comes in the room he falls on the bed, not even looking at me, his face buried in his pillow. "Hero?" He hums at me. Okey something happened. "Baby what happened?"

"Nothing Jo, go to sleep the surprise it not going. Fun fact it's not even a surprise, or even funnier, I have a new surprise. And that is. That you can leave, take your shit and leave me alone. I don't want you anyways, look at you. I. Can. Get. Way. Better." He says as a matter of fact. The tears are streaming down my face. I quickly wipe them away and do as he says. He made it clear. Loud and clear! He doesn't has to come back to me anymore. He made mistakes, I forgave him. But his? This is unforgettable. Fuck him! He wants to hurt me? Fine, fine. Then I'm done.

"Just realise you are so fucked yo, no one wants you anymore. I, I don't want you anymore, don't dare to show up at mines. Don't ever show you face. I'll explain this to my father I'll get beat up. You won't have to see me anymore." He doesn't responds so I walk out of this stupid pub. I drive back to my apartment crying. It's blurry and I can barely see what's on the road. I just keep driving, suddenly I see two big bright lights in front of me and then it goes black.

Hero Fiennes Tiffin.

Fears. Fears ruin your life, just like mine. I made the one good thing in my life go away. I made her leave, told her I can get better. But I can't, I have only eyes for her, no one else and her I screw up. Fucking fears! I get up and tear the room to pieces, there are wholes in my wall, my knuckles are bleeding, bed is broken, tv is in pieces, everything is ruined and this room just looks like the inside of my head. I seem to have everything in order but the hell. I ain't. I've known this since I was seven, that was the time it started. They didn't found out what my sickness is but, I keep hurting people, mentally and physically. And myself. I can't help it and a day or two later I stand there like a loser apologizing. If I care about them. I'm scared to tell Jo, scared that she will leave me. O wait she already did. I made her leave she made it loud and clear that she never wants to see me again. And it's all my fault. Stupid fears and sickness. I didn't asked for this!

***
Happy late new year🎆
Make the best of it😘