Sinking Ships (Misc. Oneshots)

A World Full of Hope (Nagito x Reader)

I'm useless.

Get up. Do something. Make a difference in the world. Don't just lie there.

I don't have the motivation for anything else.

Try harder. Do better. Everyone expects more from you. Get up!

...I...can't. Not today.

Your body felt heavy, like you were being weighed down by a million weights even though you only had a light, fluffy blanket over you. Your eyes remained shut despite the sunlight peeking out from between your shades, because you didn't even have the strength or motivation to move anything. Not your legs, not your hands, not your eyes. Nothing.

What's the point?

The point was that the rest of your class needed you. As the Ultimate Guardian, your entire existence had always been focused on lifting others up and making sure they were in good spirits.

But why?

The brightness of the sky did nothing to change how heavy you felt.

How bored you were.

How defeated you seemed.

A brisk knock on the door floated to your ears. You barely noticed or moved. What was the point? There was none. Not when there was absolutely no motivation. You didn't get a choice in what you wanted to do in life, you had nothing to look forward to anymore...

The knocking continued, but you didn't relent. You didn't even budge the slightest bit. They'll go away soon. No one needs me, anyway. I've done my role as a guardian, I've lifted everyone up, no one needs me anymore. Yes, that's right...

After what seemed like a thousand years, the knocking finally ceased.

The heavy feeling in your chest grew stronger.

Then, suddenly, the door jingled loudly before you heard the sound of your door creaking open.

You knew you should look and check. There was an intruder in your cottage! They could be looking to harm you, kidnap you...

But you didn't even try to move.

Not because you were trying to hide.

But because there was no point in anything.

Maybe this way, this feeling will disappear.

"Well, I certainly didn't think I'd find the Ultimate Guardian sleeping the day away."

That voice...raspy, nonchalant, amicable...that voice belonged to the one and only Nagito Komaeda. What was he, of all people, doing in here?

There's no point in trying to talk right now.

What is even the point in anything?

Using all the strength you had inside of you, you managed to open your eyes.

He was standing in front of your bed, his ashy hair sticking up everywhere in disarray while his gray eyes stared at you. A smile was on his face. How nice your life must be if you can find something to smile about.

"What...are you doing in my room?" Your words felt heavy as they somehow managed to slip past your lips. You didn't bother to sit up and greet him; that was far too much effort. The weight on your chest grew heavier.

"Well, the class was all worried about you, so they sent me. I think they were trying to get rid of me," Nagito said happily, a smile still embedded on his face. Here his ramblings went. His ravings of hope and despair...a load of bullshit, you thought. But at least he had something to motivate him. He was still talking; "seems you're having a bit of trouble there."

"You can tell the class I'm not coming today."

"Huh? That's a shame. We wouldn't want to do anything without you," Nagito folded his arms across his chest, his smile fading. You just blinked at him, unamused.

"I'm sure you guys will manage. I'll be there...tomorrow," yes, tomorrow. Tomorrow, you'd be able to pretend everything was back to normal. Hopefully. "So just leave me...thanks."

"A shame, really...to think that the Ultimate Guardian who preaches of help and care can't even get out of bed."

You didn't have a response to that.

He's right. It's pathetic. Like you.

"...You know, being sent off to go get you reminds me," he paused, "you've been feeling this way for quite some time now, haven't you? I mean, you may fake a smile and laugh with everyone else, but," Nagito chuckled, "you can't fool me."

"...What do you even want, Nagito? I don't have anything to give you."

"...I want to see you get up. You have a talent as wonderful as the Ultimate Guardian, and you choose to waste your gift in bed..." Nagito sighed. "I want to see the hope inside of you again. Seeing this...lack of anything...such a waste."

"Nothing is that easy."

"Well, no one said that restoring hope was easy. Certainly not me."

"I don't have the energy for this. Go away. Please."

"If you really want me to, I will, but..." Nagito's gaze fluttered straight to yours. While normally you felt unease from his stares and preaches of hope, something had changed in his eyes. "Don't you want to try to get better?"

"Not...that simple...I just don't have the motivation..."

"Ah, but for you, that should be easy. For someone like me, a worthless loser, I'd understand, but...you're a real Ultimate. You can bounce back."

"You're not a worthless loser, Nagito," you interjected, and your hand instinctively moved to pull the blanket off of yourself. Heavy, you were still so heavy...you forced yourself to stare at him, "and I'm not anymore of a real Ultimate than you. I just can't do anything anymore."

"No, that's wrong," Nagito shook his head before he sat next to you. Some of the heaviness from your chest disappeared, as if the burden on you had been shifted toward him. "You may not think that what you did was right...but you always know what to say, regardless of how you're feeling."

"That's not the point," well, that wasn't most of the point. "I just don't want to get up or do anything."

"That must be a difficult feeling...but I bet that if you were with everyone, you'd start to feel a lot better. I mean, you already started wanting to do things just by talking to someone like me!"

"What-what do you mean?" You were confused, and you struggled until you were sitting up next to him. You didn't feel as if anything had changed. He laughed.

"Before, you didn't even want to open your eyes or talk, or move...and now, here you are. You got past this obstacle, just like a true Ultimate."

"...Those...Those were all baby steps. Nothing to say much about," you refuted weakly, but he...had a point. He had gotten you up and alert.

"Yes, but they were steps all the same," Nagito smiled cheerfully. You couldn't bring yourself to match his energy, but somehow, the weight in your chest was different. The heaviness was being combatted by a small bloom of hope for the future.  "Right?"

"...I suppose so."

Your eyes widened at the presence of Nagito's hand atop yours. His hands were warm, unlike what you had expected. He smiled at you before he pulled you to a standing position.

"Are you ready for the day?" He asked earnestly. Your answer wanted to remain as a simple no. That was the easiest way...but now that something had penetrated that weight in your chest, 'no' was no longer an option.

Hope always did have a pesky way of shining through.

"...I am, Nagito," you glanced over. "Thank you."

He smiled.

"Of course."