The Loudest Silence

Isabella

The car engine came to a slow stop as Roman put the car into park. The sun had just set, and the previously orange sky was now darkly lit with various stars glistening in the dark.

My knee shook up and down as I gathered my bag and slung it over my shoulder. Pushing my hair behind my ear, I let out a low sigh before peeking over at Roman. His jaw was locked, and his eyes were glued outside the window. To say he wasn't the most ecstatic about my plans for tonight would be an understatement. Ever since telling him that I would be going to Mason's home, he had been antsy. I knew he was trying to mask it behind furrowed brows and a deep scowl, but Roman was worried deep down. He was taking a big risk helping me out.

Technically, his loyalty lied with my father, yet he still went out of his way to help me. I didn't deserve his kindness, but I was eternally grateful for it. Roman had helped me through more than I had imagined, and I could only hope to return the favor one day. 

He had initially refused to take me, and was completely against it. However, I explained to him that Mason was particularly suspicious about me, and the only way to ease those suspicions was to act normally. If I avoided Mason, he would know that I something was wrong, and would try to find answers. 

At least thats what I tried convincing myself. I knew deep down, I had wanted to take the risk and come here tonight. I wanted to spend more time with Mason. I didn't know what exactly Mason and I were, or where we stood, but I didn't want anything to ruin it. I knew that I was playing with fire, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to stop. All my life, I had allowed others to dictate my life, and for once, I wanted to follow my heart. Mason had been nothing short of genuine and kind to me, and no matter how hard I had tried to keep him out of my life initially, he managed to find his way back. 

"What time will you be done?" Roman broke the silence. Glancing over at the dashboard, I saw that the clock was nearing 6 p.m. 

"Around 8:30." I responded, to which Roman nodded. I didn't plan on spending too much time at Mason's house. Part of the reason was because I didn't want to allow too much time for any of Rick's men to catch onto us. But another part of me also knew it was because I was nervous. I didn't what to expect from Mason's friends or family, but I knew that I was terrified of meeting everyone. Not only was I new to socializing, but I always had the internalized fear that everyone knew about my father and I, and my upbringing. Besides, a few hours would be more than enough time, and wouldn't raise too many suspicions. 

"I'm letting it slide this time, Isabella, but you need to put an end to whatever this is with this guy. Rick didn't put you in college for you to actually be living a normal college student life. He put you there to cover his own ass, and to take advantage of your enrollment there. There are eyes and ears everywhere, on people that even I don't know exist. They're hidden in plain sight, and one wrong move could land us both in deep trouble." Roman said as I stared ahead at dimly lit street. Roman was right, but I was battling with my mind and my heart. I knew that Roman had my best interest in mind, but it wasn't as simple as he made it out to be.

Despite the internal battle in my mind, I knew that it would be for the best if I began to distance myself from Mason. My time at college could be cut short at any minute, and soon, I would end up back where I was before. It was better if I didn't allow myself to fall too deep in with Mason.

But, I knew that there was a difference in knowing the right thing to do versus following the small voice in my head that told me it was worth the risk.