The Loudest Silence

Mason

The cool autumn air blew softly on my face as I pushed my hands farther into the pockets of my jeans. The sun was hidden by the array of dark clouds that had taken refuge in the sky, leaving nothing but a chilly breeze in the early hours of the morning. 

Glancing down at the watch on my wrist, I saw that only a couple minutes had passed since I left the warmth of my bedroom. I had spent the night tossing and turning, and eventually gave up on sleep. I had felt the sudden urge to leave the building and make my way outside to gather my thoughts. Stepping farther out into the darkness, I began making my way around the familiar pathway beside the large dorm building. 

The sun had yet to rise, and the campus was empty. It felt as if the world was silent as I walked along the pathway that was dimly lit by street lamps. Because there wasn't a single soul lingering or any sounds, I felt more at peace with the world. At this moment in time, I felt as if I could hear my thoughts so clearly. 

As I made my way across the familiar campus, my mind was engulfed with memories of the past. A soft ache resonated through my chest as moments of my time here whisked through my mind. Though it had just been a couple years, for some reason, it felt like that time in my life was a mere fragment of the life I live now. 

Things were better back then. 

I was better back then. 

I had been content with life, and it didn't always feel like my world was at a standstill. 

If only we could go back in time to change the past. Maybe then we wouldn't be so bitter with the way things ended up.

Taking slow steps down the pavement, I diverted my attention to the changing colors of the trees in order to distract myself from the thoughts that threatened to consume my mind. I hadn't even realized that I had been walking for a while until I had reached a small clearing behind a couple buildings. A small beach sat in the middle of the grass, surrounded by various willow trees. The different colored leaves that lay scattered the dirt pathway softly moved in the direction of the wind as I stood there, eyes latched onto the bench that held so many memories. It was as if the days suddenly rushed on me; every lunch spent there, the days with my friends here, moments I could never get back.  

Now, it was simply a fragment from what felt like another lifetime.

A life that wasn't as dark and painful as this one. 

Settling into the creaking bench, my eyes whisked down to my phone which read 4:57 a.m. Placing my head into my hands, I released a long breath and shut my eyes. The exhaust. and insomnia was catching up to me, and there would be no way for me to rest in the next coming weeks. Not only did I need to step up my game with Isabella, but I needed to dig into every recent activity of Rick Wright. 

With my eyes still closed and my head in my hands, I allowed myself to let all the tension release from my body as I listened to the soft sounds of the leaves brushing up against one another as an early morning breeze brushed past. I could feel myself falling into a state of relaxation when the rustling of leaves nearby caught my attention.I ever so lightly lifted my head to see what had caused the noise when my eyes landed on a tiny form coming towards my direction. With her head bent, and eyes cast downward, Isabella quietly walked up the dirt pathway. Her raven locks moved in the direction of the wind, revealing her usually porcelain skin which was now red as a result of the chilly breeze. Her tiny frame was engulfed by an oversized sweater as she hugged her arms to her chest. She hadn't noticed me yet, and simply looked lost in her thoughts, as if she was present in another world aside from this.