The Loudest Silence

Mason

I tightly clutched the steering wheel as I kept my eyes focused on the road ahead. I could feel my heart rapidly beating, and it didn't feel like it would be stopping soon. It was my mother's birthday, and after much convincing from Tyler, and my own guilty conscience I decided to pay her a visit.

My mother and I had never been extremely close growing up, but we never had a bad relationship either. Most of her time was occupied with work, but she never failed to be there for her kids. After Nick had passed away, it was like a flip had switched in her. There was a certain light in her eyes that was gone, and a void in her heart that nobody but Nick could fill.

Seeing my mother morph into someone so broken after my brothers passing had completely changed me too. I couldn't live with the fact that Nick's death could have been avoided if I had simply been around more. My mother had no choice to work since she needed to bring in money to the household, but I could have done more. 

Things could have been different if I had just done more. 

 Nick's death weighed on me for years, and the bitterness and urge for revenge grew. I had made it my lifelong goal to see Nick's murders go down, and if that meant distancing myself from my family, then so be it. 

Putting my car into park, I pulled my keys out of the ignition. Clutching the bouquet of flowers in my hands, I glanced over at the house that had been filled with so many memories. The same yard that had been filled with Nick's skateboard, and my sister's bike was now empty. As I sat there in my car, I felt the overwhelming urge to leave, but I fought against it as I pushed my door open and stepped out. Taking slow steps to the front door, I could hear faint voices from inside the house. 

Although I had a key, I decided against using it, and rang the doorbell. A couple seconds passed by before loud footsteps headed my way. I held my breath as the door swung open, Adelyn's face staring back at me. I could see the shock on her face as she silently stared at me. 

"Hey Addie." I quietly said as I looked at my little sister who wasn't so little anymore. Before I could get another word out, I felt her body collide with mine as she wrapped her arms around me. I stood there in shock for a few seconds before returning her embrace. Squeezing her tightly, I pulled back to see her wiping her eyes.

"I've missed you." She whispered before pulling me into the house. I could feel the memories threatening to rush back into my mind as I glanced around the same home I had grown up in. Memories existed in every corner, yet I didn't have the heart to remember what life had been like before everything changed so drastically. 

"Addie honey, who was at the door?" My mother's voice sounded from the kitchen as my heart lurched in my chest. Even though Adelyn had been welcoming, I didn't know how my mother would react. I rarely visited anymore, and phonecalls between us were practically nonexistent since I had begun using my work phone more. 

"Happy birthday, mom." I said, stepping into the kitchen, where my mother was seated on the barstool. Her head quickly snapped over to the doorway as she stared at me. She looked as if she had seen a ghost as she stood up from her seat. Holding out the bouquet of flowers for her, I watched she she set them aside on the table before gently pulling me towards her. I felt myself let out a silent sigh of relief as I retuned my mother's hug. I could tell that she was surprised at my visit, but she didn't ask any questions as she pulled back and stared at me.

"Thank you." She softly said before stepping back. "Come have dinner with us, you made it just in time." She said as I nodded and followed her to the dinner table that was filled with food. Taking a seat beside Adelyn, I listened in as she filled me in on everything that had happened in her life. She was beaming as she told me about the new sports she was involved in, and upcoming plans she had for the year.