JENSOO ONE SHOT COMPILATION (CONVERTED)

All That I Want for Christmas

Jennie wraps her scarf around her neck and slips her hands into her gloves, steeling herself for the jarring cold she knows is waiting for her outside. Normally she wouldn't be heading out in this weather unless she absolutely had to, but last week Jisoo had arranged to meet with her to say goodbye before the brunette went home for the holidays, and Jennie doesn't want to let her friend leave without saying goodbye. Without giving her the present she'd gotten for her, which is tucked safely in her bag, wrapped in Christmas paper and ribbon as expertly as Jennie could manage. It still looked a little sloppy, but she'd done her best.

She pushes through the door of her building and then tucks her hands into her coat, releasing a harsh breath and cursing when the cold hits her face as she sets off down the path. Tries to settle the flurry of butterflies in her stomach the way she always does, reminding herself that Jisoo is just a friend. That Jisoo doesn't think of her that way. That Jisoo has a girlfriend.

But like always, it doesn't work. It hasn't worked for three years now, and try as she might, (and she really has tried), Jennie can't get over the brunette. Can't stop thinking about how soft Jisoo's lips look or how much her mum would love Jisoo or how she'd like to take Jisoo to her favourite restaurant on a date. She's gotten used to this feeling, this longing, so that now it doesn't hurt quite as much as it used to when she sees Jisoo with another girl. Or when the brunette mentions that she loves how great a friend she is. It's just how things are, how they've been since they met. That first year of university when the brunette had knocked on her door looking to return something to Jennie's roommate. Jennie's breath had been robbed from her body when she'd caught sight of Jisoo and Jennie knew she was a total goner once Jisoo had opened her mouth and that husky voice tugged low in her stomach. Jennie had never felt anything like it before, such a deep and instant attraction, and was desperate to know the brunette. Asked her roommate about her and kept an eye out for her around campus until finally working up the courage to speak to her again after a class they shared. Jennie quickly learned that Jisoo was indeed gay, but her joy at that news was simultaneously extinguished by the mention of the brunette's girlfriend. So Jennie decided she would wait, and they became friends, and then somehow got stuck there. Keeping each other at a certain distance. Becoming friends but never best friends. Almost as if both of them knew that getting closer would be a bad idea. Jisoo got another girlfriend and then Jennie had a girlfriend and then Jisoo had a different girlfriend and then Jennie had a boyfriend. It was just never the right timing, and Jennie has accepted that it's the way things will always be. But that doesn't mean she knows how to turn these feelings off.

She kicks a lump of snow on the edge of the path and glances at the Christmas decorations that have been put up in the park. Wreaths and lights hanging about the place. Jennie doesn't get Christmas. Doesn't understand why grown up, rational people seem to lose their shit around this time of year like it's some kind of magical mood elevator. Since it was just her and her mom growing up, Jennie's never really had a Christmas. Usually she tells people that and they look at her like she's a lost puppy, but a lack of festive cheer has never really bothered her. She occasionally donates to charity and is generally a good friend and daughter most of the time, so she doesn't feel like she needs to use the birth of some mythical prophet as an excuse to be nice to people, or spend a tons of money on presents.

Jisoo had been mortified when Jennie had told her about her lack of Christmas celebration. It was during their first year after they had become friends and despite her best efforts Jennie had well and truly fallen for the brunette. They'd been having a coffee together and Jennie started complaining about Christmas Carols playing in a cafe and how ridiculous they all were. Jennie can still remember the horrified and pitying look on the brunette's face when she had told Jisoo what she thought of Christmas.