Everything I Wanted

The Performance

Monroe

I give Clementine a light shake at her shoulder to wake her up.

"Tinee, we're at your house now." I whisper and she opens her eyes and looks around sleepily. As soon as she's woken up a bit we carry her bags into her house. She kisses me goodbye and I turn around and head to my car again. When I am sitting in my car and am on my way home I think about what she said to me earlier in the car.

"Trust me, if you knew it would only cause you pain and you will try to stop me. I don't want that for myself." she  says, still distant. I look at her in confusion.

"What do you mean you'll cause me pain?" I ask and furrow my brows wearing a puzzled, concerned expression "Are you in love with someone else?" I feel my eyes widen.

"No, I only love you. It's something much worse." She answered, bitterness dripping from her voice. I relax and take her hand.

"Don't worry. No matter what it is, I'll be there for you" I reassure her and give her a soft smile. She just answered me with a sad smile as if to say, 'I wish you could help me but you can't.' and dozed off. Little did I know that I was a little too late...

I tried to seem unbothered by it, but something about the way she said it seems off. I can't help but worry, and by the way she smiled at me before she fell asleep I could tell she didn't want to talk about it.

Three days have gone since Clementine and I came home from the trip and she told me about her thoughts. She has spent the last few days practicing for her ballet performance that is today. I promised her to come and therefore I am going to do her the honour to show up there. I take a seat next to her parents and wait for the show to begin. It's my first time seeing a show like this, I've never even been in a theatre before. Everything about it amazes me. The huge red drapes are pulled to the sides and reveal the stage and the ballerinas. My eyes are immediately drawn to Clementine and I try to encourage her with a bright smile, but what I see when our eyes meet is hauntingly scary. Her face shows no emotions. It's just blank, as if it tortures her to be here. It's not because of you, a small voice reminds me, but as soon as she starts dancing all thoughts are forgotten and I am starstruck. She truly is beautiful as she floats across the stage perfectly on time to the music.

When the show is over and I am about to tell her that the show was great I see her stand in a cluster with her parents as they are talking to her in hushed voices. I can make out words like calm down and she wouldn't want this. As soon as I look up, our eyes meet and quickly she rises to her feet, scurries over to me and throws her arms around my neck. She buries her head in my chest. Slowly, I feel my shirt get soaked by her tears, but I'd be lying if I said I cared about it. I stroke her back as she sobs into my chest. I feel my heart swell at her appreciation for me.