the good the bad and the in between

Talk(16)

last chapter: I look him in the eyes before I speak "why?" I question "I know why I used to do it and why I get intrusive thoughts sometimes, but why do you do it." he takes in a shakey breathe before answering.

TW: talks about depression and self-harm don't read if it's triggering towards you. I'll mark where the talk ends.

     "It's just so hard. It's so hard to have everything being perfect. and it is so hard to live in this damn family it's suffocating me and I just can't breathe. so, so I cut to give me control and to give me a break." I look at Romeo sadness present in my eyes.

     "Rom it will never be perfect and that sucks but there is no such thing as perfect. now every day or every other day I'm going to check your wrist and we can talk about whatever you want or how you feel. I know how hard it is to heal and it's going to be hard, long, and probably contain some messed up shit." he gives me a chuckle at this.

     "why, why did you do what you did," Romeo asks my smile wavers but I know I should probably tell someone about my mental health and what happened to me.

     "It was hard growing up in foster homes there were a lot of bad ones, and over time I used to believe what I was being told it also helped the world become quiet, the pain to go away, and all the weight on my chest disappear. And of course, anxiety didn't help my self-esteem." Romeo looks up at me.

     "Now what" he whispers out I clap my hand

    "coping," I say standing up pulling him with me towards my bathroom "You're going to get your mind off of all those little thoughts surrounding you, and by doing that you are going to help me dye my hair, and if you want I'll do yours."

--------------talk about self-harm and depression is over------------------------------

    I look under my sink that contains a multitude of hair dye I pull out bleach pink dye and black dye

    "Why are we doing this" Romeo asks "to get our minds off of stuff now what do you want me to do to you," I ask while pulling scissors and my other hair stuff out from under the sink.

    "Ummm what?" Romeo asks 

    "I am going to cut and or dye your hair then you're going to help me do mine then we're going to watch Netflix till 10 a.m or whatever time because it is currently Sunday. OK OK," I say looking at Romeos long hair.

    "could you shave the sides you know sorta leave the top so I can put it in a bun and maybe could my hair be darker it looks almost blond now" I give him a thumbs up while getting a dark brown dye out. 

    I make Romeo sit on the toilet while I wet the front of my hair parting and cutting making bangs.

    "Rose why the heck are you cutting bangs." Romeo asks.

     "because Rom why not also it will go with how I'm doing my hair." I say "this is my coping mechanism, dyeing my hair I also do art you just need to find yours."

------------new chapter will be posted soon.---------------------

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