The shaking has subsided, thankfully, but my headache hasn't and the vomiting as well. Sweat is constantly beading across my burning skin. I can't move from my spot on the tiled floor because every time I move I get dizzy. I've never experienced something so painful and tiring. The nurses offer me ice chips but I can't even eat the that without getting sick
I'm surprised I haven't started puking blood. My body is fighting against me and everything I do. It refuses to move, eat and think straight. I remember the first time I smoked pot; I said, "Don't worry, you'll be able to stop whenever you want." I didn't stop though. Every time I went without a drug for more than 2 days I'd start itching and shaking. Something I am starting to get used to in this place.
Alcohol was the substance that filled the vacancy of drugs that were deteriorating my body.
I knew it then, I wasn't that oblivious to drugs and alcohol. I've seen the videos they show us in school, I just didn't care.
They took up everything I did. When I should be in class I'd be smoking a cigarette. When I should be doing homework ,or at home in bed, I would be partying. My whole life surrounded these atrocious substances.
I don't regret it though, I enjoyed being able to ignore the outside world. It gave me the confidence I lacked of. Well, Cody helped give me the confidence I needed. I shudder every time I think of him, another batch of vomit coming up.
Flashback
I walk up the pathway and knock on the posh door. It slowly creaks open and he stands there wearing his signature sloppy smirk, something that he has perfected before I even met him.
It's as if he knew I was coming, knew that I was in trouble and feeling lonely. It's probably why I rely on him so much, he fills the void that I feel is missing.
The missing part to my already disfigured heart.
"Hey", his voice makes me warm inside, something familiar.
"What are you doing here?" His voice is smooth and sweet.
I instantly walk up to him and hug him. He hugs me like he never wants to let go. He's something in my life that I can count on, he's the constant variable in my life.
My response comes muffled, my mouth blocked by his warm embrace, "I missed you." Even though I came here because I was upset I really did miss him.
"I missed you too, but I think I know you better than you know yourself." It was true he knew me inside and out, he knew who I was before this all happened.
"I fought with my parents, that's all." He hugged me harder and led me inside.
I didn't see his parents anywhere so I guess they're on a business trip like usual. They are never home.
He walks me over to the couch and we sit down. I hear a rustle and look over at Cody who is grabbing a clear plastic bag out of the couch cushion. I look closer and see a greenish brown substance inside. He gets out some rolling paper and opens the bag. I watch as he rolls the joint with experience, I know that he smokes a lot of pot. He hands one over to me and lights it.
I take a deep breath and inhale it. I slowly exhale taking every drop of the tingly feeling washing over my insides. My lungs burn a little, but not as much as they used to. After a few minutes it fully kicks in, and the familiar feeling pushes in.
Everywhere I look it feels like I'm under water, watching everything above me float, while I'm slowly sinking. Every minute it gets darker and darker, my body weight pushing me down further into the water. My surroundings are blurry, and Cody's voice is muffled and cloudy, almost like a dream.
It's relaxing, something I need and wish I would've had a long time ago.
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Hehehe I thought I would update one more time today!!! This is one of my favorite chapters. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!
~Cam
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Innocence
Romance"It's sad to think that people can cause cuts to themselves, but it hurts even more to know that humans could cause cuts on people who didn't want to be bleeding in the first place."-Innocence Charlotte has lived her whole life in simplicity with th...
