While You Were Gone

First Month

"Did his death help save many lives?"

"Yes, it did."

"Did his death help to preserve peace in a certain area?"

"Yes, it did."

"Did he die to serve our country?"

"Yes, he did."

Mo Yeon couldn't stop crying.

She curled up on her bed for she didn't know how long. The news of Si Jin's death broke her into pieces. First, the letter and then, his Commander came to her place asking her to sign the paper. Mo Yeon buried her face deeper onto the pillow.

After this, what was she supposed to do?

Living alone again after having someone she deeply loved?

But, what choice did she has?

He left her with promise to return and yet, he didn't.

He left her promise to stay alive and yet, he broke it.

With sniffled and red rimmed eyes, she caught the sight of Si Jin's letter.

His last words on his letter cut her heart deeply.

And don't think of me far too long.

     ***

Mo Yeon returned to work two days after receiving the news. Her friends suspected something, but didn't dare to ask her, even Dr. Pyo didn't ask anything. Mo Yeon's friend noticed something amiss when the doctor suddenly asked for a change on her schedule. What made her curious was Mo Yeon took almost all the night shift with only one day off a week.

Mo Yeon busied herself to distract her grief. She never left the hospital, only go home if necessary. She didn't even want to stay at her place anymore, for it held so many memories of her and Si Jin. Three weeks gone by, Mo Yeon lived her life robotically. She was still good in surgery, earning appreciation from the hospital board, making Dr. Kim more resented her. She rarely ate lumch with her friends anymore and Dr. Pyo couldn't take it anymore.

She finally dragged Mo Yeon to her office and locked it, demanding her friend to talk.

"Why are you taking me here?" Mo Yeon asked.

Dr. Pyo took a good look at her friend. She looked hagard, tired, and her eyes held a lot of sadness. She thought it had a thing to do with Captain Yoo, for some resons he never apperead in the hospital again. Were they broke up?

"Talk to me, Mo Yeon."

"About what?"

"About you."

"I'm fine."

Dr. Pyo scoffed. "You are nothing than fine." She wheeled her wheelchair closer to Mo Yeon. "Do you think I don't notice? Or even our friends? You were acting weird after taking two days off. What happened? Is is Captain Yoo? Are you two broke up?"

"No, it's not about him!"

"Then, what is it?"

Mo Yeon took several breaths and finally, could hold her tears any longer. She slumped on the floor and Dr. Pyo quickly approached her.

"Mo Yeon? Hey, are you alright? What is really going on? Please, tell me."

Mo Yeon only cried harder. "He's...gone..."

Dr. Pyo blinked. "Gone?" She saw Mo Yeon nodded her head.

"He didn't...survive his...last mission," Mo Yeon said with short breaths.

"Oh gosh...Mo Yeon." Dr. Pyo embranced her friend on a hug, letting her cry on her shoulder. "Sshh...it's ok. Just let it out. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know...how to tell..you. The army...wanted me...to keep his...death a secret."

"My goodness..." Dr. Pyo blew a breath. "How could they ask you that and causing you had to keep it to yourself?" She leaned away from Mo Yeon's embrance. Her heart squeezed in pain seeing her usually bright friend suddenly turned into a very sad and dull person.

"Mo Yeon, I know saying sorry will do no good for you. But, you have to keep living. I'm sure that's what Captain Yoo wants for you too."

"I don't know if I can."

"Yes, you can," Dr. Pyo insisted. "Living your life just the way you are is a way to honor him. Don't disappointed him."

"It's just...it feels so hurt," Mo Yeon said again while clutching her chest.

Dr. Pyo tried her best to hold her tears. "I know it's hurt and also hard. But, you still have us and your mom. You are not alone, Mo Yeon."

      ***

Mo Yeon finally went home after three weeks left her place untouched. She sat silently on her living room, Si Jin's letter was still open on the table in front of her, just the same when she left it.

And don't think of me far too long.

The doctor took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Yoo Si Jin. I don't think I could ever forget you."