Unnatural Love

A Tale, A Memoire, An Anecdote unheard

I liked climbing trees as a kid. I found it adventurous. I used to goof around on the farm near my house and spend time in the floral realm. I liked the company of trees, I felt a connection with them. It was my first home. One day a known man known as K came by while I was goofing on one of the branches on the tree. It was a magnificently large and sturdy tree. He started to climb on the tree and went past me. He said you should come up too. I said I have never been to that height before. He said trust me you will enjoy the view. I climbed up thinking he is a known person hence trustworthy. After hoping on several branches and dodging the weak ones, we reached on the top. The view was beautiful. I could see a large trail of grassland that disappeared into the mountains. The sunlight was strong more than ever and yet it felt peaceful. I felt a touch on my back and I thought it must be the leaves and I turned around and before I knew it I was on the ground. I was pushed and when I rolled over, I could see the smug smile on his face above on the tree, refracting from the sunlight and my vision started to go dark. I was convinced I had broken my bones and I have blood flowing from my body. Strangely there wasn't a scratch on my body. I could feel the pain, I felt powerless, I could feel my skin tearing apart but there are no wounds. I got up and went home.

I went home and I looked in the mirror, there was no bruise or anything. I couldn't take the pain and puddle into tears and start to scream. My mother and father and the caretaker came in and worriedly asked me what happened? I said I was pushed from the top of the tree by K. My caretaker said but you look fine. Are you sure it happened? My mother lifted nimble arms and checked my legs and back for bruises, there were none. My dad calls K and he said he hasn't been to the village in a while. After whispers within the adults, they asked me to take some rest. Honey, maybe you're just tired. I slept thinking it must be some bad dream and with the hope that I would wake up fine from it.

My family never spoke of it again. It doesn't add up: no bruises, felling from the top of a tree, a known and trustworthy guy with me, he is an adult, I am a naive goofy kid; it doesn't make sense. I tried telling that story to different people in the longing of being heard and soon enough there were many versions of that story and far away from the truth.

I didn't have wounds or scars on my skin but there was pain flowing through my body even years after that incident. For a large amount of time, I was told my story was a lie, which meant my pain was invalid and as was I, my very existence. Eventually, that pain became numb. I had to let go of the story.

I still like to climb on trees, I still feel the same connection with nature as I did as a child. I still enjoy a view from the height but with safety. The only thing had changed for me was my caution, to look after myself.

I visit that farm sometimes also my first home. I have a lot of memories in those trees. I can feel the embrace whenever I visit them. Somehow I feel the tree, the specific tree I fell from knew about everything but couldn't speak because her nature forbid. I go near that tree sometimes and I kept my hand on its bark, the sturdy tree I knew, I feel has weakened even though it looked strong. I could feel the restlessness and pain within her and myself to be one.

-End-