Romance with a kick

And the tough cookie crumbles

I woke up with just enough time to doll myself up. I showered, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and began to pick out my outfit.

Jeans, how about some brown boots. And... what shirt? Whatever let's just do a white long sleeved shirt. I put it on, and tackled my hair and put it in a clip. Personally, I hate wearing my hair like that. But it needs to grow because it's at a weird stage, and my mom insists. Anyway, school here comes Miss Elizabeth!

I catch the bus, and get to school. I even sit through first period, so interesting but so boring. Same for second period and 3rd, then comes fourth period.

I walk to fourth period and my friend Trixi comes running after me. She shakes her head at me, "Everyday, Elizabeth. We go to the same class, I'll find you regardless" Trixi says. But I'm only half paying attention. Oh if only Martin if felt the same, I thought in a daze. And like a slap, I was back in reality.

"Well then you must love my out stretched hope" I say. Just like my unreasonable hope that Martin likes me back, I thought. "Trixi, how do you juggle three crushes?" I asked all of the sudden curious about her.

Trixi glanced at me and shrugged. "Huh. That's a good one. I guess I don't, I just like them" she replied. "You sure you don't drop pink Victoria Secret panties in front of them" I said remembering her embarrassing story. "What the fudge, Elizabeth!? It was an accident, he didn't even see them!" Trixi exclaimed. I just laughed at her.

We reached fourth period, he walks in a different way I do the same time I walk in. I tried not to look at him and walked in the classroom. I heard him say a bunch of stupid things from the back. I thought, why can't I just tell him. One part of me shrieks: No don't tell him! Why not, what's the harm, I think? The part says: You're way too shy and awkward and you'll ruin every chance you had with him.

The bell rings and I sigh. Why am I so shy and awkward in the first place? It's so unfair. I hold back a groan when I hear we're working in partners. Every time it's a complete and utter mess. Trixi and I partner up, fight, and start a bunch of unnecessary drama. Well this gal prefers to work alone. With no drama and only myself to argue with.

As I gather my stuff, there's more. Our evil teacher paired us up so we would actually get work done. She read our names out loud then came to my name. "Elizabeth and Martin."

The tough cookie side of me crumbled. There were so many butterflies in my stomach they all died. My heart fluttered and stopped. My asthma acted up and my anxiety toyed with me. I wanted to scream, jump for joy, and faint all at once.

I moved my stuff and sat by Martin. "Hi Elizabeth" Martin said casually. "Hi" I breathed my anxiety still up. I managed all the times he talked to me not to act like a dork, so I could this time too! The part of me said: don't jinx yourself, everything will backpedal faster than you can say why.

I ignored it, I wouldn't act like a dork if I tried. "So where should we start" I said looking him in the eye, but trying not to gawk at his endless milk chocolate eyes. We started to work when I forgot to add a number.

"Wow, I didn't figure you were stupid" Martin teased. "Hey shut up" I lamely retorted. Martin just laughed at me. "I would shut up if I were you. You'll be speechless after you see my genius" I joked. Martin laughed again.

I don't know why, but I felt like I started to emotionally crumble. I felt like I was going to fall apart, hopefully in his arms. "Elizabeth, you there?" Martin asked waving his hand in my face. I snapped back to reality and stopped crumbling. "Yeah, I'm here now" I murmured so he barely heard me. "Let's keep working" I suggested.

After a couple minutes, the bell rang. "Bye, Martin" I said gathering my stuff. "Bye, Elizabeth" Martin said running out the door. Always in a hurry out of class, I thought.

This day, I actually waited for Trixi. She followed me to fifth period. "So how's working with your little 'you know who'?" Trixi asked smiling at me like an idiot. "Not how you think it is, I'm falling apart" I confessed.

"Maybe you'd feel better if you told him" Trixi suggested. "I can't tell him. He's just going to reject me, and I'll humiliate myself. Telling him I like him isn't going make him like me" I said fearfully. "I guess, but if you're not going to tell him you can't keep falling apart" Trixi told me.

I just stared straight ahead. How would it work if he did like me, I thought? I'm not allowed to date, so I'd disappoint my family. But what about, me? What if he's my one true love and I pass him up for people who'd love me, regardless? But they would never forgive me. At least Vera won't. I thought of my big sister, knowing her she'd hate me for the rest of my life.

******

The day went by fast, last thing I know I'm back home. I run to my mom and tell her my news. I tell my mom almost everything. Usually you do that with your sister, but Vera really doesn't care to know about my crushes. So can't talk to her about it.

You might say I'd go to my brother, before I'd go to my mom. Please, if Edward found out I had a crush he'd go ballistic.

I went to my bed and laid on my bed and thought more about in. I imagined him going out with someone else. I buried my face in my pillow and cried. And the somewhat tough cookie crumbles again.