❝ imagine being loved by me ❞
Eurydice Noblezada hadn't always
been a ghost. Once upon a time,
there was a boy who made her
feel alive.
HARRY POTTER x FEMALE!OC
HALF-BLOOD PRINCE - DEATHLY HALLOWS
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NINE I WILL
"Eurydice!" a voice called out to her as the aforementioned girl was walking alongside Heloise on their way back to their respective common rooms following the end of that day's classes. The dark-haired girl's head whipped around in the direction of the voice, seeing Harry rapidly approaching. "Can we talk?"
The girl gulped, turning to Heloise to say, "Talk to you later?"
"Yeah, see you at dinner, hun," the blonde smiled, squeezing Eurydice's hand reassuringly before walking away. Behind Harry's shoulder, she saw her friend turn around and wink. Eurydice resisted the urge to roll her eyes, not wanting to give her friend's expression away to Harry. "What's up?"
In reality, she's insanely nervous but she's doing everything in her power to maintain the secrecy of her true emotions. Harry hasn't properly spoken to her since they kissed and she couldn't bring herself to seek him out for conversation first. Her heart raced as they fell into step beside each other, heading back towards Gryffindor Tower.
"Uh, I wanted to talk to you about the other night," Harry sighed and from his tone, she could already tell it was going to be bad news. She did her best to quell her nerves, but in all honesty, she felt as though she were going to be sick. Still, she refrained from cutting him off no matter how much she wanted to end this conversation before she got hurt. "I was... it was inappropriate. It was late and I've been dealing with some stuff, I shouldn't have done that. I-I'm sorry."
She forced a light chuckle past her lips, "No need to be sorry, it was just a kiss. It wasn't like you became manic and asked me to marry you. It doesn't have to be a big deal, never has been in the past."
It's a low blow, more so for her than it was for him, but still. It felt nice to hear that bite on the edges of her tone; it was comfortable. If Harry noticed it, he made no notions of indicating so. A heavy silence has fallen between the two of them as their footsteps echo on the ancient wooden floors of Hogwarts. There are murmurs and chuckles of passing students, but no words exchanged between the two of them.
"Glad we, uh, cleared that up then. The last thing I'd want to do is lose you as a friend, Eurydice," Harry looked at her with a smile that seemed to say everything and nothing at all. At least he thought of her as a friend; she supposed it was better than him not thinking of her at all.
Surprising even herself, Eurydice let out a small laugh at this, shaking her head endearingly, "You could never lose me, Harry. If anything, I'll always be your friend." It feels more like a death sentence than a promise, but she hopes it doesn't come across that way for the boy next to her. Sometimes she wonders if she's simply fooling herself and everyone could see right through her along. After all, half the time she wanders these halls feeling like a ghost and ghosts are as translucent as can be.
She thinks she could be friends with Harry. It would hurt for a bit, but after that, it would be okay. After all, he's just a boy. There are plenty like him in the world. None so brave or endearing, but she's sure she could find someone who could measure up. With that in mind, maybe she could handle the idea of being nothing more than friends with Harry. She would rather do that than lose him, that much is true.
"I'm... I'm glad to know I'll always have you, then," Harry offered her a small smile, but it seemed almost sad in nature. However, that could be her love-infested mind playing tricks on her, making her see things that aren't really there just to leave her with any sort of hope that maybe this won't be the end of them.
Strangely, it doesn't feel like the end of them. As she smiles shyly back at him, it felt like it could be the beginning of something. The beginning of what, she doesn't know, but when their eyes meet, her heart warms. This can't be all in her head. It simply can't. However, she knows she must accept the fate that is being given to her at this moment regardless of how possibly untrue it may be. They have decided on friends, whatever feelings are bubbling beneath the surface do not matter in this conversation.
They enter their common room and it feels like it should be the end of the conversation. Ron and Hermione are there, with the latter currently losing in a game of wizard's chess. It's funny, that's the only game Ron has ever been better than them at. She wonders if Harry will leave her to go be with his friends, which is understandable as it seems their conversation is very much over. Still, he hesitated, looking over at his two friends before his eyes met her dark ones once more.
"Wanna play with us? I'm sure they'll let us have a round once Ron takes that one," Harry asked, catching her by surprise. She raised her eyebrows, clearly caught off guard by the question. Still, it's not an unwelcome surprise. Eurydice supposed part of being friends meant doing things like playing wizard's chess were included in their past times. Not that she was complaining. She quite liked the game, but she needed to brush up on her strategy.
"Uh, yeah, I'd love to join," she nodded with a smile, brushing a lock of dark hair behind her ear. Her eyes darted from Harry to the duo at the table and back. "Let me just change out of my robes, yeah? Wait for me?"
Harry smiled, looking genuinely happy that she agreed, which sent a shockwave right through her heart. If they were going to be friends, she was really going to need to get those feelings under control before they consumed her any more than they already had. Still, when Harry looked at her, she couldn't help but feel alive. In response to her question, he responded with a brief but genuine, "I will."
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