Green Eyed Monster | Draco Malfoy

86. From Afar

Oh my Merlin, I think there will be some great reactions to this chapter. I'm not going to give anything away besides the fact that it's long and hopefully you'll think it's full of some wonderful drama.

Enjoy!

Chapter 86 - From Afar

"I hate this, I hate this wand, I hate magic, I hate this Peter Pan bullshit and I quit!" I bellowed, throwing my wand to the floor and pushing my hands into my hair to grip it in frustration. Both Remus and Sirius - who had been waiting for this frustration to manifest in some way - took a step forward, ready to calm me down.

As they'd done yesterday.

And the day before that.

And the day before that.

"Everyone can do this, except me. Why? Why, Remus?" I howled, glaring at my wand that lay innocently on the floor - I wanted to kick it. I should just kick it. Or stomp on it, hear it crack beneath my feet so it can realize what a ruin wand really works like... Sirius, as if knowing where my train of thought was headed picked up my wand before I could further damage it. I crossed my arms over my chest and uncrossed them again, too frustrated and energized to stay in one place. "What is so wrong with me that I can't be like everyone else who learned this years ago?"

"We can't answer that," Remus said, sounding like he honestly regretted not having answers for me. Again, my hands flew to tug at my hair.

"What makes you happiest, Drea?" Sirius asked, moving forward. "What memory are you using?"

It was a good question...one that I knew they wouldn't like the answer to, so I decided not to confide in them. It didn't matter what memory of Harry I used, what memory of Potions, or Snape, or Theodore, or Care of Magical Creatures, or hurting Pansy, or pranking the witches, or even all the memories of Draco I tried - nothing was working. Nothing. Not only was my Patronus wispy, flimsy and easily broken; it wasn't close to becoming corporeal and taking shape of an animal like everyone else in the household - and Order - was able to do.

Loony Lovegood could conjure a Patronus, for Merlin's sake!

"Maybe we should take a break?" Sirius interjected, looking at me with worried eyes - I don't know if he was worried for his own sake, or for the sake of my hair. "Just for dinner - Remus, you can go see Tonks, then Drea and I will work on turning her into more of an animal than she's already behaving."

"Brilliant," I muttered bitterly, sighing when he handed me my wand. I pocketed it roughly, at this point just hoping it would snap. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders for a moment before realizing that I wouldn't want to be touched - not that I ever wanted to be touched, but if ever there was a time to give me space it was when I was this frustrated - so he let me go.

The three of us walked into the kitchen where Fleur was just putting dinner on the table for the brood. We hadn't had to charm the table wider so it could fit extras: it was a quiet day with very few visitors at Shell Cottage, so we all took to our regular seats: Bill beside Fleur on one side, Sirius and I across from him, and finally Lupin, who sat on the end whenever he had time to stick around. This was his first dinner here in a week, Remus been busy with the werewolves lately. This, of course, did not bode well for Sirius considering he hadn't been able to produce his own corporeal Patronus since his time in Azkaban and I clearly needed a confident instructor.

It was times like this I missed Snape.

And times like this I resented him most.

"So, Drea," Bill asked conversationally after we had all told Fleur how good the food was - which it wasn't really. She was no chef that I'd ever known. "How's the magic going?"