YOU & ME (Niall Horan)

Chapter 20

OLIVIA

I felt so bad for the way I treated him. He was right, I couldn't toy with him, pulling him close to me and then pushing him away, and the inside of my brain was a mess I couldn't seem to clean. My heart screamed "Niall!", of course it did. It screamed his name so loud it resonated until the tip of my fingers, down to my toes and even at the root of my hair. My whole body throbbed with his name, telling me it was alive only when Niall was near because that's what was meant to be. Me and Niall. Niall and I. It sounded so obvious. But something in the pit of my stomach, like some sort of storm, seemed to make everything a lot harder, like this love and happiness was out of reach. It was fear, I knew it, but wasn't my fear justified?

That being said, I had been doubting my marriage ever since I saw Niall again but it was the first time I admitted it out loud. It was the first time I seriously thought about breaking up with Dylan and it made me nauseous. I didn't want to think about it even if I knew I'd have to sort all of this out soon, but when Niall kissed me again, I decided to focus on him and only him.

He took a step my way, forcing me to lean against the fridge and I chuckled against his mouth. It was electric when we were together, and the closer we got, the more we seemed to be pulled towards each other. I couldn't explain how much I loved it. His lips moved away from mine and he stared in my eyes for a few seconds before taking a step back.

"Give me 5 minutes okay? 5!" he just said, moving back and showing me the palm of his hand.

I smiled more and nodded as he disappeared in the hall before I walked back quickly to the table and grabbed my glass of wine, emptying it quickly. I didn't know why I was so nervous, perhaps because the first time was unplanned and for some reason, I felt like it was different on that night.

He came back and my lips curled immediately at his sight. I knew it was pathetic but at that point I didn't give a fuck. He held his hand out and I chuckled again, putting my palm against his and felt a shiver run up my spine when his fingers wrapped around mine. I followed him to his bedroom and my lips parted when I saw a few candles around the room. I turned to him and my eyebrows raised.

"You're gonna set the whole house on fire." I just said, making him grimace as I shook my head slightly.

"Is that really the only thing you can say?" he chuckled a bit, making me smile more. "Don't worry, I'll be cautious."

He sat on the bed and patted the place next to him. It took me a few seconds but I finally sat with him, turning slightly his way as he did the same. He grabbed my hands in his and looked down at them as he ran his thumbs on my skin, making me bite my lip. He was so perfect.

"I don't know if you've listened to my album again ever since you found out it was about you." he started, looking up in my eyes. "But there's a song on it that I wrote the very first night we weren't together. The night I... broke up with you. The night I broke your heart." His fingers squeezed my hands again. "That was the state of mind I was in on that day. It was exactly how I felt, and it's only when I heard about your marriage that I realized that just because I expected that to happen didn't mean you expected it too. I mean, I really thought you knew it was about you but expecting you to wait for me... it was ridiculous."

I glanced at the guitar on his bed and let go of his hand to bring it to him. He grabbed it and sighed, letting his fingers run on the strings and just nodded. He placed it on his laps and when he started singing, I held my breath, trying to stop any tears from falling.

"I've got a young heart
And it's wild and free
I don't know where it starts
But it ends with you and me
It's a hard road
As far as I can see
I don't know where I'm going
But I'll get back to you and me