Chapter 5

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NIALL

I was going to kiss her but she backed away. Or at least, that's what I liked to pretend to myself. I liked to think I wasn't shitting my pants and that I was courageous enough to do it, as stupid and useless as it definitely would have been. Did she back away because she knew I was going to kiss her and she didn't want me to? Or did she back away because she wanted it and it scared her?

Truthfully, I was scared, too, but with a few beers swallowed and the music of the bar only coming from afar as we stood in the hall of the washrooms, the moment seemed surreal, almost like a dream. She proposed to go back and my heart dropped in my chest but I didn't mention it. I just nodded and turned around but when I glanced back at her, I noticed she was typing something on her phone and I couldn't resist.

"Texting your boyfriend?" I just asked, licking my lips, trying not to show how hurt I was.

"Yea, i'm asking him if he wants to join us." she replied, making my whole body throb.

Was it stress that made my heart start beat quicker suddenly? She moved closer and we walked side by side back to the table but this time, I took a seat next to her and she looked up at me when my thigh brushed against hers. I wanted to tell her not to invite him but I didn't have any good reason to do so. She could invite whoever she wanted, do whatever she wanted, say whatever she wanted... we were barely friends anymore, I didn't have a say in her life.

I ended up drinking a bit too much and was pissed when her boyfriend arrived. I groaned low and tried to hide the grimace that his presence brought to my face but ended up just raising my nose up. She got up quickly and used my thigh to support herself, making me hold my breath. I watched her wrap her arms around his neck and the way he smiled at her made me realize immediately how much he loved her. I was sort of hoping to see that he didn't care about her, making me a more obvious option for her, but he truly and sincerely loved her and I felt my heart sink in my chest. I stared at them as they kissed, making me feel in a way I hadn't felt in a fucking long time. I let the jealousy invade me like a deadly poison without being able to stop it or take my gaze away from them. I remembered when I was the one who would kiss her, when I was the one who would make her happy.

"Hey, Dylan, nice to meet you." he let out after turning to me and extending his hand. "Heard a lot about you."

I breathed in and got up, shaking his hand firmly and sending him a small smile. I glanced at Liv who was staring at me and decided there was no way I was going to disappoint her, even if it hurt me. I had to get used to it anyway, she was about to marry that guy.

"Niall, nice to meet you too." I just replied.

They took place at the table and I could see Olivia hesitate to sit back next to me but Dylan sent her a smile and made a quick head movement, inciting her to take a seat and I felt relieved when she sat back where she was. Her knee brushed against mine and she glanced at me, sending me a small smile. It was horrible to realize that he was funny, smart and sweet, and that everyone already liked him. Of course, most of my friends had met him before but seeing with my own eyes how good they got along made me feel like utter shit. Did I even have a place in my own group of friends anymore?

They all started laughing at something he said and I just got up quickly, feeling suddenly dizzy. Everyone turned to me and I saw Olivia frown and get up too, bending my way and tilting her head.

"Hey, Nee, are you okay?" she asked, her soft voice like music to my ears.

"Mmhm, yea." I replied, shaking my head slightly. "I think i'm gonna go home, perhaps I drank a bit too much."

"You can't drive, i'm not letting you drive." she quickly replied, making me smile.

"It's okay, i'll take a cab and pick up my car tomorrow."

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