YOU & ME (Niall Horan)

Chapter 39

NIALL

May 5th, 2018

Heidi had done it again. Heidi had put on her shit show and I had to live with the consequences of it. It was crazy the number of articles that had appeared in only a few weeks and it didn't seem to cool down. There were some about Olivia too, saying horrible things about her, and I tried to avoid the paps and barely answered my phone anymore. I knew it was my fault, and I knew I sort of deserved it, but at the same time, was Heidi really hurt? I was starting to doubt it. It seemed to me that she was trying to get sympathy and more fame from that story. Maybe I was wrong, after all, I did date her and had some sort of feelings for her at some point, but now, I was not so blinded, and I was starting to see her differently. Perhaps, she had always been like that, but I never really noticed. I liked to see the good in people, and maybe it was a bit naive, but I still firmly believed that I was a good judge of character.

I was waiting for Olivia's call, but I couldn't remember what time it was in California. I was a bit jet lagged and all this travel was getting to me, physically and mentally. I had just arrived in Italy after a concert in Austria and today was my only day off, which clearly didn't seem enough. I wanted to go for a pint with the lads but I was too tired and staying at the hotel watching some netflix seemed like the perfect way to spend a night off.

I put the tv on pause when my phone rang and almost dropped it but caught with my other hand as it fell, letting out a short chuckle. I was clearly more exhausted than I thought I'd be.

"Hey petal, you finished early today."

I heard her giggle on the other side of the phone and it made my lips curl.

"I was off today, gladly." she explained as I leaned against the pillows of the bed.

It was large with white sheets but even if I tried, it didn't feel like home, and I knew it never would. The smell was different, the vibes too, and even if I had lived on tour buses and in hotel rooms for years now, I couldn't get myself to feel really good in any of these places. Being on stage was what I loved the most, but when I turned the lights off in a hotel room alone at night, I was glad to be extremely tired because it's fucking lonely. Don't get me wrong, I love being by myself, and I'm not the kind of guy who gets bored easily, but there's a difference between being home alone, and being alone in a hotel room in a far away country.

"Why didn't you call me on facetime?" I asked, closing my eyes. "Miss your face."

She chuckled again but lower this time and I heard a 'ding' sound that seemed like a microwave or something similar. It made me smile and I tried to imagine her heating some leftovers at her place.

"I'm sorry, my phone is being an ass, I really need a new one." she quickly replied. "How much do you miss me?"

Her voice was soft and her words made me smile sadly. It had been 16 days since the last time I saw her and I knew I'd have to wait at least an other week before I could kiss her again. It was hell, even worse than when I spent 6 weeks without her the first time we dated, and I was not sure why. Perhaps, this time, I was really scared to lose her.

"The truth?" I asked, raising my eyebrows before I sighed. "It's hell without you."

"Mm yea, you normally go to pubs and flirt with girls but sadly, this time, you're stuck with me on the phone." she joked, making me roll my eyes with a smile.

"Yea that's exactly what I mean, petal." I let out sarcastically, making her laugh again. "What I'd give to hold you right now."

She kept silent for a few seconds and when she talked again, the amusement in her voice was gone.