Mixed Emotions

Chapter 1: The Blonde-Haired, Blue-Eyed God

For someone with anxiety, there is nothing worse than the first day of school. Stress and the memories of the previous year follow you around, always close behind. But I had high hopes that this year would be different.

-

I woke up early so I could be sure I didn't mess up my first day the same way I always do. I quickly slipped on some jeans and a t-shirt before stepping into my favorite pair of blue socks and my worn-out white Converse from last year. I ran over to my mirror and almost screamed. I panted and made these weird noises that I always do when I get nervous. I tried to tame my lion's mane of brown knots and frizz by pulling it up into a high ponytail. Carefully watching the time, I attempted to apply some mascara on my eyelashes.

"Bye, Mom!" I screamed.

I raced out the door to my tiny, well-used car and ducked through the door. I jammed my key in the ignition and pulled out of the driveway to leave for my school, only about ten minutes away.

I stepped onto the campus and breathed in the smell of freshly-cut grass.

-

I tried to calm myself down, but every time something important happens I get anxiety attacks and I pant and mumble and my palms get all sweaty. I walked through the hallways, trying to get past all the annoyingly loud Freshmen.

"Gracen! Gracen Sanders! Gracen!" a loud, overly-excited voice screamed from a good distance behind me. I whirled around. I knew that could only be one person.

"Alexis!" I shouted over the noise of the halls. We swam through the sea of sweaty high schoolers to meet each other and hug like there's no tomorrow.

"So what's new?" Alexis questioned, casually leaning on a locker.

"Not that much," I replied honestly. Ew! That's the most awkward question ever! I thought to myself, Why do people even ask that?! What do they expect? That my life is actually interesting?

"Um, Gracie?" my friend's voice snapped me back to reality.

"Sorry," I muttered, "I was just zoning."

"And thinking about what? About your undying love for Peter?" Alexis teased. She knew very well that I realized the douchebag behind the dirty-blonde hair and the sparkling hazel eyes.

"Very funny, Alexis," I said, rolling my eyes at her. "And I'm assuming that you still stay awake at night thinking about Andrew?" I fired back. I smiled as her face turned beet-red. I knew Alexis liked him a lot. And when I say that, I mean it.

-

The bell rang and pretty soon the tiny health room was swarming with students. I walked to a seat towards the back where my teacher couldn't see me. I plopped my teal backpack on the hard floor with a loud clank. But as I sat down I noticed something. The whole world started to swirl and everything seemed to be in slow motion. He looked like a god just standing there in the doorway with the light showing off his gorgeous blonde hair. I didn't move. I just sat there, gazing at him. He turned his head slightly and his crystal blue eyes sparkled at me. Suddenly Alexis punched me, knocking me out of my trance.

"Hey!" I whined in an annoyed tone, "What was that for?!"

"Well excuse me for thinking you were gonna faint over that guy. Did you want me to just leave you there?" Alexis laughed.

We were interrupted by the nazely tone of Mrs. Huckle's voice, "Okay kids take your seats!" The room was filled with the sound of metal chair legs scraping the linoleum floor.

"Oh, like I'd let you numbskulls pick your own seats," Mrs. Huckle said, chuckling at her own joke. The room grew loud with groans and annoyed whispers. She called out different names of the class and painfully assigned them to seats.

"Alexis, you will sit here, next to Olivia," the teacher announced, pointing at two chairs towards the middle of the room. I watched Alexis's excited facial expression. Olivia was one of our friends and it was a rare occasion when Mrs. Huckle assigned us to good people.

"And Gracen," she went on, "you will take that back chair in the corner." I smiled wildly. For once I got the good seat! In the back corner, hidden from the rest of the world. "And finally, Jack, sit next to Gracen." I felt the blood drain from my face. I knew who Jack was the second I saw him get up.