If I Lay Here

Chapter 5 ❗️

(Mentions of suicide, slight homophobia, and abuse!)

None of it was real. Just a hallucination.

It was noticeable. Kageyama backed off and let the boy have his space.

To Kageyama, it was almost as if Hinata was testing him. Hinata's emotions leaked out of him like a broken perfume bottle, and one day, Kageyama knew those emotions would be expressed towards him. He wasn't ready for that.

I'm not ready for that.

Kageyama left Hinata leaning against the pillar—not looking back was the best decision he could make. It would only cause both of them more pain.

For him, it was always easy to notice Hinata's feelings. The way Hinata talked made it incredibly obvious, sometimes it was painful to notice that change.

Kageyama knew Hinata liked him—more than a friend. More than a teammate. However, Kageyama could not express those feelings back. It's not something he was willing to do. If Kageyama truly wanted to express his feelings, he would probably punch a wall or punch Hinata.

"Kageyama! How nice of you to join out class. You're late. Take a seat," it was the Teacher that ripped Kageyama from thinking about Hinata—and for that he was thankful.

He nodded and took his seat, avoiding eye contact with the students around him. Although he was seated and looking at the teacher, he wasn't paying attention. Then again, he never did.

Kageyama sat in the back by the window. He was just too tall. Many of the girls teased him  about his height—that was their way of flirting with him even though Kageyama never realized it.

I wonder... if Hinata actually loves me? But would I love him back?

He rested his cheek in the palm of his hand and sighed quietly. He looked out of the corner of his eye to the outside. The classroom windows pointed out to the front of the school, he and Hinata were in the back of the school, near the volleyball courts.

A loud noise broke the silence of the classroom.

"Can I help you?" the teacher asked annoyed. Everyone's attention fixed on the student who barged into the classroom. No one made a noise—only tiny breaths could be heard.

Kageyama, however, remained in his thoughts. At this point, he didn't care for much. Hinata had quite honestly messed with him. Hinata was the only one who could torture Kageyama in a way that made him feel good.

I should probably talk to someone about this...

Deep breathes came from the student who interrupted. "Y-yeah. The office called you down a while ago but you didn't respond, they said it's urgent?" the student spoke swiftly, keeping it short. Those words appealed to Kageyama.

Kageyama and Hinata shared the same teacher but had her at different times of the day.

Now, Kageyama knew Hinata wasn't doing so good with grades and would fail quite often. Hinata has never said anything about it. The teacher was rude but masked it with a smile. No one else seemed to mind her attitude.

The teacher spoke nervously, "Ah! Yeah I'll come down now." without anything else being said, she left, leaving everyone in silence.

What?

"No more teacher! Mess up her room!" one student shouted. Everyone stood up and cheered, running around her room and messing things up. Everyone except for Kageyama.

It's not that Kageyama liked the teacher, he just didn't desire to mess her room up.

"Man, that teacher was horrible. She was so rude!"