metro card//MGG

8

"I'm, like, completely envisioning Joe's face right here." I point at the line, imitating the older actor's pensive expression. Matthew looks at me and chuckles, writes something in the margins of the script in his messy scrawl.

"perfect." he pops another sugar cookie into his mouth. "these are so good."

"I'll let Ren know you approve." I eye the Tupperware of red and green sugary sprinkles that layer the star-shaped cookies. admittedly, they are delicious; Ren's always had a knack for baking. but I can't stop thinking about how irritated I am with her.

after decorating the hallway and our weird, silent moment, I'm not exactly sure how to proceed with Matthew. we're just sitting on the old Goodwill love seat in my bedroom, looking through the script. and, given that we only have one copy, I've been forced to sit near him. our limbs are intentionally not touching and the sheer knowledge of that is taking up roughly 57% of my brain.

"I know you already have a plan for the episode, but I think it would be cool to have a shot here between Garcia and Luke-- like, something silent and quick." I shift in my spot to take the script out of his hands and locate the point I'm talking about. it's a lighthearted dialogue scene.

"you mean a glance or a pause or what?" Matthew is toying with the pen in his hands so much that I start to worry he's going to break it and spill ink all over us. he keeps snapping the little clip on the cap, or squeezing it in his hand.

"a glance. purposeful, though. I don't know, maybe not. it was just a thought--"

"no, it's a good idea." he writes something in the margins again. "I didn't think of that." he says it without looking up, without any trace of emotion, and yet it makes my heart float to the surface. comments like that make me feel way more credible than I am.

"thanks."

"hey," he sets the script in his lap and turns to face me. the lights in my room cast his face in a glowy gold. his knee brushes mine and, instinctively, I pull my leg into my lap. "when are we gonna start on your film?"

"soon. I've gotten a little sidetracked lately, but that record shop I was telling you about right by here... we have to shoot there. the woman who works there is literally perfect for my main character."

"really." he frowns.

"completely. she's way cooler than anyone I would have cast otherwise." I laugh a little. there's still the small matter of actually asking her.

"what's your idea, then?"

"I want it to follow a romance that's ruined by her own past issues. no happy ending or magical solution." I give a very brief synopsis, staring at my own knotted fingers before looking up to quickly amend my words. "it'll be a lot more interesting when I flesh it out more."

"sounds... bitter?" he arches a single eyebrow, something I have not seen much of in my time knowing him. I glance down at my hands again.

"no. not speaking from my own relationship experience." I shrug. it's not a lie; I hardly dated in college. most of my interactions were hookups or brief flings that ended because I got bored or busy or some combination of the two.

"explain." his voice is edged with curiosity, eyes narrowing just slightly. there's a long moment where we're staring at each other, trying to see who will break first. of course, I'm no match for him. deep down, I like that he's taking an interest.

"my parents were kinda like that."

he nods. "not ready to be with each other?"

"you could say that, yeah," I sigh. he shifts to rest his arm on the top of the couch and lean his temple against his fist, waits for me to continue. "you know when you can look at two people and just see what is so obviously wrong between them, and yet they can't seem to see it themselves?"