metro card//MGG

10

it's been a week since my fight with Ren, and two days since we've started shooting my film. between finishing the script, working around Matthew and Tia's schedules, and doing regular schoolwork, I've had no time to think about anything else.

Matthew and I are back to normal, at least when we're on his set. it took me about a day to get over the initial shock, to realize that it really isn't a big deal in the first place. sometimes I just need to cool off.

so now I'm sitting in his dressing room with my camera plugged into my laptop. I hate editing. we're not shooting tonight because Tia has to do inventory, so I'm trying to brainstorm other things to keep busy.

my head jerks up at the sound of the door opening. Matthew strolls inside with his suit on, tie loosened around his neck and the top button of his shirt undone. he's been here for eleven hours; I've only been here for around seven. I expected to be on set whenever he was, because that's pretty standard for assistants, until he told me to spend some time with Orion at his apartment so that she wouldn't get too lonely. obviously, I didn't pass on that offer.

that kitten has grown already within the past few weeks, and so has my love for her. she's sort of like a dog-- even plays fetch. and her meows are more like yaps. she's affectionate toward me, but when Matthew is around, she follows him around like a duckling follows its mother.

"hey, you need anything?" I straighten up on the couch, swinging my legs off the cushions and sitting normally so that he has room to plop down. it takes everything in me not to stare at the way his chest rises and falls, that lavender button-up doing remarkable things for his appearance. he's so disheveled.

"just a break." he throws his head back. I need to stop looking at him before it gets weird.

"long day?"

"unbelievably." he runs his hands through his curls.

"do you want to complain for a bit?" I smile softly. his head rolls to the side to look up at me with an obvious hopefulness.

"can I?"

"mhmm."

"I don't want to complain, though. I shouldn't." he starts to change his mind.

"you're a human being. it's okay to be frustrated sometimes." my words come out slowly.

"fine," he sits up and then he's fidgeting with his hands again. turns a ring that I haven't seen before on his thumb. "I haven't slept and I think it's affecting my patience."

"why haven't you slept?" 

"work stuff, mostly." he doesn't elaborate further, so I try a new angle.

"okay. what's making you upset today, then?"

"I keep messing up my lines. I know them, but then it's my turn to speak and my mind's totally blank?" he says the last part like it's a question, with furrowed brows and a sort of distant expression. I purse my lips.

"has that never happened before?"

"no, it has. not recently, though." he toys with the loosened tie around his neck, which is a rich plum shade. there's still a shadow of stubble on his face. I can't tell if that's his new look for the show, or if he's been genuinely too busy to shave. it adds a different maturity to his face, one that I'm ashamed to say I kind of really like.

"it could just be exhaustion. temporary forgetfulness isn't uncommon for that." I try to think up ways to make him feel better. "that used to happen to me, too."

he glances up at me and I clarify. "not with lines, obviously, because I don't act. I mean, like, with tests. especially during finals week, I would just forget information I definitely knew because I wasn't getting my rest."