UA Traitor (?) - finished

Part 28

The next morning Kacchan and I wake up to my alarm clock. We both said 'good morning' and finished for school. We didn't talk much, well we never really do.

"You better today?" Kacchan asks after 20 minuites, breaking the silence.

"umm yeah I think."

"What do you mean 'you think'?"

"I'm not sure. Sorry I know it sounds wierd. I'm just still confused about my feelings, not just your confession I mean about everything. My arms still hurt but they are getting better. I'm sorry."

He sighs "Stop apologizing all the time. It's not your fault. A lot has happened, it's only natural to be confused. It all happened in only 3 weeks."

I hear a knock on the door and Todorokis voice from the other side. "You two finish? We should head to school."

"Coming." I say, grabbing my bag and open the door. Kacchan follows and we head to school.

"So you've seen each other naked?" Todoroki asks all of a sudden.

"What?!" We both ask in unision and blush.

"You heard me." He says like he was just talking about the weather.

"No of course not Icyhot!! While changing we faced our back at each other."

"Yes Kacchan is right, we didn't watch each other change." I say still blushing like hell.

"Kacchan." Todoroki mumbles, but I could hear him. He looks deep in thoughts. Suddenly he nods and looks me in the eyes. I get a bit nervous, what does he want? He looks so serious. "I want one too."

"Huh?" I ask comletly confused.

"You always call Bakugou Kacchan. I want a nickname from Midoriya too. I know you're not sure about your feelings and everything, but I feel like Bakugou is so much ahead of me. Give me a nickname too, please."

"O-Ok if you want. Um....How about?.....Shochan?" I suggest. Can't think of anything better all of a sudden.

"Shochan? I like it. Call me that from now on."

"O-Ok if you like it. So from now on you're Shochan."

"Finished? Let's go into class. Because of your bullsh*t we're getting late." Kacchan says already in front of the class.

"Coming." I say catching up with Kacchan, followed by Shochan. We enter the class and all gazes are immediately at me. I hate being the focus of everyone. I look to the floor and walk to my place. I don't want anyone to look at me and I feel ashamed.

Because you can't do anything right? Your can't even kill yourself!

I sit in my place and press my hands against my ears to shut everything up. I know it doesn't work against the voice, it's in my head after all. I shut my eyes close.

I must have stayed like this for a while because someone tapped my shoulder. I lower my hands and slowly open my eyes. I look at the person who tapped me on the shoulder and see Shochan.

"You ok Midoriya? Why are you crying and shutting your ears like this?"

Wait I'm crying? Again?! I'm so pathetic. I can't even go a day without crying, I'm really a Deku.

"I-It's nothing I'm fine." I try to smile but I'm sure it's now very convincing.

"Damn it! Stop always saying 'I'm Fine's. It's bullsh*t and you know that. Just talk to us nerd!" Kacchan turned around and says that with a lightly angry face.

"I-I'm sorry Kacchan. I don't want you to worry, both of you. It's just.....I don't know how to say."

"Please tell us. We just care for you and want to help you. What is wrong?" Shochan asks.

"Fine I'll tell you, but not now. I don't want anyone to know, just you two."

"Ok then we'll talk later in your room, after school." Shochan suggest and both Kacchan and I nod in agreement.

"So you ready head for lunch? Break is almost over."

"What?! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Because of me you lost your break time. I didn't realize what time it is."

"Don't worry about it. Let's go and get something to eat. At least a little bit." We stand up and walk to the cafeteria. We hurry up and eat fast, then head to the next lesson.

It's pretty boring and I can barely focus. Should I really tell them about the voice.

They'll only think you're crazy and a nuisance. Don't do it.

"I didn't ask you damn it!" I whisper yell at the voice. This earns me a concerned look of Kacchan. He sits right in front of me so he hears me. I just mouth 'later' and he turns back to face the front.

I really don't know what's right anymore. Maybe I should just tell them and see what their reaction is. I mean you were wrong some other times. Mostly right, but sometimes you were wrong. I hope this is one of these situations you're wrong. I'm so afraid of telling them.

(Gosh I'm doing way to much time skips XD)

School finally end and we head back to the dorms. We go straight to my room. I sit down on my bed. Shochan again on my chair and Kacchan on the floor. Both of them looking at me, waiting for me to start explaining.
I stay silent for a while until Kacchan's patience is over.

"Ok now will you finally start explaining or will you just sit there watching holes in the floor."

"Ah no um... I just don't know how to start this. It's really strange and you probably will think I'm crazy...... Well I might be."

"Just spill it Deku. We won't judge you or think your crazy. Come on tell us."

I sigh in defeat. "Remember that after you heard what I'm about to say. Well you heard me sometimes talking to myself right?"

"Yes. I noticed before but because of everything I didn't want to ask." Shochan says.

"Thanks I probably wouldn't have told you anyways. So I'm not actually talking to myself. Since I started to be with the LoV I started to hear a voice inside my head. He talks to me very often and most of the time it's negative. He talked me into ending my life and you were only toying with me, manipulate me."

"So that's the reason you freaked out when you met Shinsou and I found you crying in the toilet." Kacchan says surprisingly calm.

"Yes. Meeting Shinsou confirmed the idea of you manipulate me and give me false memories. At least I thought so. I'm sorry. Now you're stuck with a crazy guy who talks to a voice inside his head and tried to kill himself. And now I'm crying AGAIN!! I'm sorry I'm so pathetic. You shouldn't love someone like me you should-....."

Kacchan and Shochan interrupt my mumbling when they all of a sudden approach me and hug me both. I'm just sitting there, crying and let the two of them hug me.