I was in a good mood the past few days that's why when Therese asked where we heading I immediately answered Bea's place and good thing she agreed. I was really excited going there not until I saw Jolo and Bea exchanging stories. For some reason my mood went off so when we arrived I just settled on the sofa, face buried in pillow. Ang kulit ni Bea, she did not stop until I got up and accompanied her to the grocery. I knew she knew that I could not resist her. I liked the extra Bea that I saw, really nice to see her enjoying... With me? I was just not prepared when she asked the reason why my mood went off so I just said, 'kung anong iniisip mo 'yun na 'yun'. Because how could I told her that..... "Kasi nagselos ako nung nakita kong ang saya niyo kanina ni Jolo"
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I was neither the 'Bea level' type of student nor the 'bagsak type or pasang-awa' one. I was just a typical student, most of the time feeling lazy to listen to the Professors. But since Bea and I became close I was always excited attending my classes, not until the day Van told me that he saw Aaron and Bea came to school together. He even mentioned that they had lunch first. So when I entered our classroom I planned to ignore her but who am I fooling, we were seatmates paano ko ba naman siya matitiis. Pero hindi lang basta off ang mood ko, I was really pissed that's why I pinched her and she noticed that it was not the usual kurutan that we do. Couldn't control myself that time, Bea and I were arguing... About Pauline and Aaron then our Prof came. Saved by the bell? Kung hindi pa siya dumating baka nasabi ko na. I guess Universe's way of saying, not now.
If nagselos ako kay Jolo, natakot ako kay Aaron. Nabasted na si Jolo eh but hearing from Bea that Aaron was the most consistent one, ganon na lang 'yung gigil ko. Muntik na kong umamin.
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While waiting for our second class I borrowed Bea's phone. I know invading one's privacy is rude but I couldn't help to check her messages. Dumating na nga 'yung araw na kinatatakutan ko, ang makabasa ng... Sila na ni Isaac, huli na ko. No one else to blame but myself.
Who wouldn't notice Denice when she was wearing a see through top during first day of classes, plus her skin. The following day she was with Bea, I think they clicked right away. That's when I realized, this girl is pretty too ah. Lumipas ang mga linggo nakabuo kami ng grupo, lumipas ang mga buwan tuluyan ko na ngang naging kaibigan 'yung dalawang babae. Then Jolo and AJ courted Bea tapos kami naman ni Bea nagiging close na. Habang tumatagal mas lalo ko siyang nakikilala and the more I got to know her, the more I wanted to spend time with her. Being with her, I just found myself really enjoying her company until she rejected Jolo and AJ. I wouldn't lie, there was happiness in me. But I also feel for Jolo, he's like a brother to me.
Every single day, Bea's making me happy. Unti-unti na kong nahuhulog sa kanya. I must admit I got scared because she turned down all her suitors plus I was still thinking of Jolo, so I didn't do anything with what I feel until Denice and I became close. She asked Isaac to stop courting her, she liked him but it didn't reach the point that she loves him. Then suddenly, nakakaramdam na ko ng selos tuwing nakikita ko sina Bea at Isaac na magkasama. That's when I knew I already love Bea. Oo crush ko si Denice at nung nakaclose ko siya, likeable nga siya. Malabo ako diba. Let me put it this way, I like Denice but I love Bea. Oo na, g@go ako. I was contemplating if I'd already make a move pero wala na may nanalo na, si Isaac. Honestly I still thought of confessing to Bea even if she's already in a relationship but when I saw that she's happy, ayoko ng manggulo. Ten days after I asked Denice if she could be my girlfriend and she said yes. Aminin ko naiisip ko pa rin si Bea nung first few weeks but when Denice and I celebrated our 1st monthsary, alam ko mamahalin ko na siya ng todo, tagal ko nga nakamove on diba. Haha
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Life happened. Denice and I parted ways before 2014 ended then first half of 2015 both my parents passed away. My world was crashing down and I thought of Bea, I wanted to hear from her but we haven't talked for how many years so I set it aside.
Two days after Mama's burial, received a condolence message from Bea. I needed you, why just now? I knew I waited for that but my emotions got the best of me. I didn't reply.
A week after, I guess, I met Julia and from that day she's always been there for me.
What if the 'exchange' didn't happen between Isaac and I? What if after graduation our group's communication lines were still open, what if Bea and I kept in touch? What if she became my girlfriend that time, would it change the story of my life?
I remember when Denice and I became official she asked me about Bea. I just told her that me and Bea never touched that topic but I knew that we both knew what we had.
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One fateful night of December 2016 I felt the urge to message Bea, maybe because Christmas is in the air. She replied and we had a long conversation, I missed her! After that I got scared, na naman. Natakot ako kasi sobrang naenjoy ko 'yung convo namin. I have Julia, so I didn't bother Bea again. Not until July 2017 when I viewed her story that her daughter was hospitalized. Kinumusta ko and it's always like that... Ang sarap niyang kausap, masayang kakwentuhan hanggang sa nakasanayan ko na. We've been friends for a long time, I think nothing's wrong with that. Ayoko ng maputol 'to.
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I had always been open with Julia, we talked about things and our conversations were ending well. It's ironic that she and Bea were giving me the same advices, and yet giving me different level of comfort. I feel at home with the latter. I didn't notice that I wasn't just chatting her, I was video calling her, asked her to go out, actually asked her to go on a date with me, even told her that I won't get married because we're not allowed to get married. I realized I was already (emotional) cheating on my girlfriend. God knew how hard I tried to control but all those just came out naturally. I meant the things I said to Bea. I didn't want to hurt Julia though, she was always there for me. And to be fair, I loved her. But I love Bea too. Oo ulit, g@go ako part two. Before, I considered Jolo and I's friendship. Now, I'm considering the fact that Bea's still married. Am I not man enough? Maybe, but easier said than done. Remember she turned down all her suitors before, buti nga nakalusot si Isaac. Bea and I are close but I still find her intimidating, she's really different among all the girls I've dated. Maybe the reason why I'm always scared when it comes to her. She's so precious, takot akong magkamali pagdating sa kanya.
