the arms i fall in - [ᴅɴғ]

[ 3 ]

"george," her voice was steady, unchanging.
"don't touch me," he threw his mother's hand off his shoulder. he refused to have any sort of interaction with her. he despised her at this point.

he angrily strode towards his room in their castle. he felt drained after the emotion he'd let out on her, also their long carriage trip back to angeles.

he didn't give two damns about how she felt when he yelled at her. she was giving him away just so she could keep herself safe. he knew that this wasn't for the people. being widowed made her look weaker. a union would keep her safe. it felt so selfish.

she only cared for herself. she didn't give a slight care for his feelings. the neglect he'd felt over the years was immeasureable. every year he'd felt less and less relevant to her actions and jobs, as if he was just a pawn in her game.

he wished he could just flip this metaphoric chess board that she played on.

three days until he'd have to face that so painfully gorgeous boy he'd have to marry by force. he hated how he already fell, not even a word was spoken between the two. the fact that he knew he wouldn't hate to wed someone such as him. such a beautiful face didn't deserve a heart like his. how he wished he wasn't as attractive as he was, he wished he could hate and spit on him for ever being involved in this union.

but he had too quick of judgement. he knew nothing of him, yet when he tried, he wouldn't be able to say a single bitter word about him. he looked so genuine and kind.

he had a storm of emotions. part of him wanted to go through the union, only because he'd be the one he wed. yet he wanted to refuse, just to spite his oblivious and self-absorbed mother. he was torn.

how could he be mad when he was the one whom he'd be engaging?

——————

what could he do?

he couldn't fall for a stranger who didn't even want to speak with him. especially when he had floris.
loyalty was not his strong suit, which was definitely a very bad thing to admit to.

it didn't help that in every waking hour he just wanted to hear his voice, hold his hand, and watch as he fell asleep.

why was he already taking up every niche of his mind? why was he already making him feel this way?

Dream,

               I'm faring alright, even though I feel so lost without your reassuring words. Please wait, my dear. How are you holding up? I feel devastated, you're the only one I have.
              Love, you deserve better than me. But it breaks me to say that. The thought of seeing you smile again carries me through the night. I couldn't ever let go of you, no matter how hard I tried.
             So please, my dearest, just try and stay.
       
                                                                     Floris.

"god," he whispered to himself.

it shouldn't have been a hard task. it was basic human decency. he didn't know what was wrong with himself.

but even with those persistent thoughts, he could feel his whole body slowly sinking. he was neck deep
in attraction, and he hated himself for it. he wished that none of this happened.

"i don't want to dance with him,"

the closer he got to him, physically, the more he'd struggle. how he wished he could be blinded and not know of his god foresaken eyes of cocoa. the way he wanted nothing but to get as far away as possible from him, not know anything of him. to only have floris and for floris to not have to worry about him.

he pulled out a scrap of paper and an ink pen that his late mother had given him.

Dearest Floris,

he had to keep true to his word with every curve and stroke he made on this one letter.

to the only one he could ever love.

I will never waver in my affection for you.

yet with each word,

You're all that I will ever need, and your love is all I will ever need to live.

.. he could tell he was already bluffing.

I will always wait for you. These blasted people will never stop me.

he winced. every stroke was nothing but a promise covered with lies. he could almost feel his heart slowly sinking into this pit of despair.

Floris, give me time.

how could he do this?
how could he lie to him?

he threw his draft to the ground, carefully returning his glass pen to its spot on his nightstand.

how could he be even more stupid? he was lying to the one whose heart had already been devoted to him and him alone.

how could he betray such an innocent and beautiful person who he'd promised and given his everything to?

he was nothing but a liar, wasn't he?