the arms i fall in - [ᴅɴғ]

[ 7 ]

each word was a jab to the heart.
each one was another chord in minor.
every breath weighed him down, deeper and deeper.

through thick and thin.

that was their motto for each other. he couldn't believe it.

he was reciting these vows to a stranger that he just so desperately had to have, coincidentally also being the one he was forced into marriage with. watching as he gave himself up in light of a better kingdom. that was just another highlight for him, wasn't it?

he tightly held the two of his hands together. why couldn't he be the one there with him? why wasn't he the one that made his eyes light up like the lanterns that lit the streets of their village?

why wasn't he right for anyone?

—————

he was pitied for his past. he was always irritated by their apologies. he was belittled, it left him with a hatred for being seen as some dumped over weakling that had nothimg but a traumatic life.

he'd been stuck at war with his father, who had died to his own reasons, mostly blamed because he'd gone mental. he'd exploded their entire country that they'd worked so hard towards. he lost him, all he had was the memory of his voice.

he'd been lied to and used. his hopes for another chance with someone to care for him were gone in an instant. they'd brushed him off.

they all stood and watched as his own grandfather stabbed his father. they did nothing when his only chance for another guardian was gone. they crushed his hopes of a new future because of some stupid wars. nothing but petty disagreements that were solved through violence, which caused him to lose everything. they'd ignored when he said he'd be someone new, someone stronger. no one ever believed him.

he'd fled to this kingdom with hopes for a new life, where he wasn't seen as just another orphaned tragedy. he had such high hopes of having a voice, finally being able to be seen.

he'd found the love of his life..
only to watch him slowly and deniably walk away.

when would it be his time?

—————

"the rings, if you will,"

..
his delicacy.

the touch of his skin on his.

warm hands that slid cold metal onto his finger, slowly and gently. ones he could almost envision softly holding his fingers, tenderly and lovingly. his smile already had a place in his heart.

he didn't want anything to do with it.

he wanted nothing of his warmth, love, his care. he wanted none of it. he wanted to leave, he wished he had the guts to. he wished he didn't hopelessly fall for him with every second that he stood next to
him. he denied it, he denied it.

denial was a dangerous thing. he'd learned that. but how could he accept such perfect discourse? he didn't to please his mother, he wanted spite. he told himself he wanted to leave.

the priest glanced between the both of them, as if analyzing the things about them that weren't naked to the eye.

"you may kiss the groom,"

curses.

he hesitantly took his hands, waiting as he leaned forward. his breathing staggered, looking unsure of his decisions. he impulsively leaned forward, taking his lips in his.

it was as if sparks lit up inside his chest, warmth flooded his face. he hated the euphoric feeling. he wished that his lips were cold and repellant, he wished he had the ability to turn away. but of course, not. they were so warm and welcoming, almost begging him to stay like this forever. it felt so perfect in the most harming manner. why was he an embodiment of perfection?

cheers came from the crowd as they parted. he quickly dropped his hands, folding his own near his legs. he wanted nothing of him. he thought he was so sure of it. he looked toward the people and smiled timidly.

warmth.

too much can burn you.

—————

he stood there stunned, almost forgetting that he was in front of a crowd for just a moment. he shook his head, turning to smile to the people who cheered.

his sister coughed, motioning for him to hook his arm.

he politely held out his arm silently, too tense to give out a sentence.

he took it, squeezing him tightly. neither of them looked at each other, they walked down the aisle without a word. nothing but simply waving back to the joyous pews. smiling forcefully so no one could notice.

"we still have the goddamn reception," the other muttered through his teeth.

"are you alright?"

he pretended not to notice as the shorter boy's face flushed. they hadn't even had a one on one conversation beforehand. whatever they had was just a couple of exchanged glances. "quite alright, just tired,"

they were stood outside the church, promptly and awkwardly letting go of each other's arms.

he held the boquet in one hand, his other on the back of his neck. "i don't know what to do, with," he motioned between the two of them. ".. this,"

he looked down to the floor again, hoping he didn't come off in the wrong way.

"i don't either," he chuckled and grinned. "i wouldn't say i favored it, yet-"

his breath caught in his throat once they'd made eye contact. he could feel himself slowly melting into his gaze. why was he so vulnerable?

he didn't acknowledge the crowds flooding out, except for a dark clothed figure in the corner of his eye.

he quickly tore his eyes from the boy stood in front of him. "floris,"

he walked away, storming to the back of the building. he tried to go after him, someone grabbing his arm in protest.

"i have to-"
"dream, the carriage," his father hissed.

he sighed, looking behind him. he'd tell him later, if he could even face him.

forgiveness was all he begged.