KEEP A PLACE FOR ME // Wilbur Soot X Reader

11

Inside, Wilbur's office was sparingly decorated. What drew your attention though, was the computer setup at his desk - two monitors, a microphone, a keyboard that looked like it cost more than your entire computer and the plethora of empty water bottles that was scattered around it all. One of the monitors displayed a show of statistics and diagnostics you didn't understand, and the other - a paused YouTube video of a fat monkey. 

You turned to Wilbur.  "What is going on?"

Wilbur laughed, and pulled a folding chair out from behind his desk and unfolded it, setting it next to his desk chair. "Sit, sit." He said. 

You lowered yourself into the chair, still slightly confused, as Wilbur sat down back at his desk chair, sliding one side of a pair of earbuds in, and offering the other to you. You took it gingerly, and put it into your own ear. 

"Chat!" Wilbur said, adjusting the mic so that it was between the both of you. "This is my neighbor in the office, Y/N, who came to yell at me because I threw that water bottle at the wall."

"Who are you talking to?" You asked. 

"I'm streaming." Wilbur said, clicking something on the screen so that it changed, showing you and Wilbur in his office instead - next to a rapidly rolling chat bar. You watched the comments roll by - most of them saying hello to you, some of them making jokes you didn't understand.

"So this is what you do?" You asked, gesturing to the screens. "You're an internet guy?"

"Yeah, this is what I do." Wilbur said. "Mostly Minecraft, sometimes ARG's, with a bunch of other stuff sprinkled in, ah, I was actually in the middle of a You Laugh You Lose when you came to knock. But yeah. I'm an internet guy."

"You know, that actually makes a lot of sense." You said. "If there's any job that requires being loud and annoying, it's being an internet personality." 

Wilbur laughed, even though you hadn't really meant it as a joke.

The comments in the chat rolled by even faster and Wilbur scanned over them, frowning. "No- chat that doesn't count as a laugh, that wasn't part of the game - that doesn't count, that doesn't count."

"What game?" You asked. 

Wilbur leaned back in his seat, turning slightly to look at you as he explained. "Basically, my viewers send me dumb videos, and I have to try not to laugh. If I do laugh - which I usually don't because my chat are the most unfunny people on the planet - I have to end the stream."

You frowned. "And you somehow do this for a living?"

Wilbur bit back another laugh. "You make it sound so demeaning."

"Well, when you're trying to do actual work and you have to listen to you carrying on in the background, I think I'm entitled." You said. 

"It's not as easy as it looks!" Wilbur said. "I'd like to see you have to sit through hours of the same five videos over and over again."

You rolled your eyes, settling into your chair. "Fine then. Let's go."

Wilbur's eyebrows shot up in delight. "Really?"

You nodded at the screen. "Go on."

Wilbur grinned, and the screen changed back to what it had been before - halfway through a video someone had sent. He pressed play, and the video finished out. You didn't get the joke, and it was easy not to laugh. 

"See what I mean?" Wilbur said. "My chat are the least funny people on the planet."

You just hummed, humoring him.

The next video started shortly after the one you had just watched ended, showing a gay flag. You frowned - this better not be some incel 'dark humor'-

Objects That I've Shoved Up My Arse

You started, slapping a hand over your mouth. "Wait-what?"

Wilbur bit his lip, holding back a laugh. "Oh no- this is not the kind of thing I need my office neighbor to see first-"

 Vibrators.

You turned to look at Wilbur incredulously. "This is your job?"

He was desperately trying not to laugh. "It's not what it looks like, you just came as a bad time-"

Dildos.

"This is what you do all day?" You asked again. "You make real money doing this?"

Pens.

Wilbur laid his head on the desk, not able to look at you anymore. "Pencils." He looked utterly ashamed. 

Pencils.

"You know the words?" You asked, unable to stop the laugh bubbling up in your lungs. 

"Coins." Wilbur sobbed.

Coins.

You bit your lip, trying desperately not to laugh. 

"Pebbles!" Wilbur wailed. You were sure - if you had been in your own office - that you would have been able to hear him there. You were sure - on a normal day - that hearing him randomly shout 'pebbles' would have been really annoying. 

Pebbles.

You exhaled heavily, really, really trying not to laugh. 

He banged a fist on the desk. "Why chat? Why now? Why'd you have to do this now?"

The video stopped there and Wilbur hit something on his keyboard, pausing before the next one came along. He slowly sat back up, brushing his hair out of his face, looking utterly destroyed and sorry that he had ever offered for you to come in. 

"I'm so sorry." He started. "I didn't know-"

You burst out laughing, mostly at his face, but partially at the way he had known the words to the thing. It was the hardest you had laughed in a long time, and Wilbur started to laugh as well. There was just something about the sharp turn from a regular working day that made it so funny - if you had been able to go back in time and explain to your past self that instead of telling Wilbur off for being loud, you would be dying in his office over a video about shoving things up your butt, you would have been utterly confused.

Somehow though, this is exactly what you had needed today.

When you finally stopped laughing, you looked at Wilbur and smiled. "What the hell."

He just shook his head. "I'm so sorry."