Why Me?

Chapter 1

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Have you ever wonder why something always goes wrong and you can't change it. Why things happen to you? Well I have!

Let me introduce myself my name is Emily Walters I am 17 years old. I live with my parents just like any other teenager out there. My life hasn't been easy from the start sense the minute I step foot in this state that was about 9 or 8 years ago.

I was 9 when my parents decided to move to Washington Dc. "This will be a good change for you, you'll get a better education and life." They said but honestly it hasn't been easy to keep up with the people that leave here.

My first day of school was the worst I was starting 4 grade, so picture you're self-walking in this room fill with stranger looking at you like you are from another planet, like you don't belong there. Living your friends behind everything you had just for a better life.

I always look down when people talk to me I'm not out going, I am not confident, I'm shy, I'm ugly, and fat. No I'm not perfect but obviously the people here think they are they laugh at me because I was fat they laugh at me because I didn't speak well. They would point fingers at me for been different, they laugh at me in perfections, and the people that I though treated me like friends stab me behind my back.

When I was out of elementary school I was glad, I was starting over at middle school, but the worst thing happened I was stuck with different people but I managed to make one friend and then they change my schedule in the mid of 7 grade so I was starting over in different classes with different people that treated me the same as the people in elementary school did.

I so this one girl crying and I helped her out. She was crying because people made fun of her for been the teachers Daughter I helped her out and was her only friend. Crashed is what I felt when the person I helped started treating me the same once she got the chance to 'fit in'. It hurt a tone, because the person I helped threw her worst moment treated me like shit, when she got Chance to be like everyone else!

It suck it really sucked! It suck that you wake up and you don't want to go to school because you get bully. It sucks that you have no friends and feel like a total outcast. It sucks to know that every day when you step foot in the bus people laugh at you, it sucks that every time you get home and look at yourself in the mirror you ask yourself ("Why me?" "Why am I so ugly?" "Why am I fat?" "Why does nobody like me?" "What's wrong with me?") And call yourself the worst names you can think off. It sucks to be called an "Ugly bitch" at school every day, it sucks to cry in front of them making them know they have broken you.

Have you ever felt like your walking in the woods alone and it's dark and lonely and there is nobody there to protect you. That's how I felt. Worst actually! You're in the woods all alone with nobody to turn to and imagine the ground you step on been broken Glass.

I made two friends in middle school, but they always left me out, they would live me behind all the time, than when one of then was gone the other would talk to me, it was like I was the third week. I was a replacement, they only talked when one was gone. So around the middle of the school year I started dressing all black to cover up my sadness or so I thought I was steel bully, I was called a "bitch" "ugly bitch" "fat bitch" I was so tired of been laugh at. The bus was so crowded that I didn't know we're two seat I started walking two blogs further from my bus stop to go to two the bus stop that the bus came first like that I would have a seat all to myself.

Their came a time when I felt so offal that I started cutting myself. I didn't tell anyone what was happening to me, my teacher would hear and see what they did to me but wouldn't do anything about it. I didn't want to tell my parents because they wanted the best for me and I didn't want to disappoint them. So every day I came from school I would cut my arm, with needles it hurt but it hurt less than the way I felt... Broken. I would cover the cuts up with long sleeve sweaters my mom nor did my teachers notice anything.

Summer back was over and the state of 8 grade was coming, I didn't want to go to school I didn't want to go back to want I've come to call hell. So when I was so disappoint and sad to find out that I was having classes with the same people I had classes in 7 grade. But there was a girl her name was Faith, she was new I noticed how people treated her they treated her the way they treated me they laugh at her accent just because she was from Africa. One of my so called friend had more classes with her and Faith started talking to her and she would do the same that they did with me.

So I started talking to Faith. We became really good friends, she was the first person that I could actually call a friend and that treated me equally. Around the end of 8 grade I took of my sweater because it was so hot in the school it was 98 degrees outside if I remember correctly. Faith so my cuts "What's that?" she asked so I quickly put my sweater back on. "Why do you do that?" She asked, I was angry because she told the teacher but I refuse to remove my sweater so the teacher didn't see my cuts. Faith talked to me.

"Don't do that?" She told me "that's showing weakness to those that hurt you!" I was crying because I felt so ashamed of myself "you can't show them weakness show them how strong you are, not how weak you are stand up for yourself, and I will do the same!" She said "promise me you'll never do it again" so I did it took me a while to stop but I did, I steel dress black but I no more cuts the represent the wounds that my heart felt every day. We both stood up for are self we never left each other's side. She was a very cool friend. It was the end of 8th grade.

Summer went by fast and I was looking at myself in the mirror my body changed I've changed. And I was starting freshman year at high school a new school nee people all over again. Faith and I only had one class together. Lucky for me I made a friend she was Latin American, she sat all the way in the back of the classroom all alone. So I went over to her and extended my hand and said "Hi my name is Emily." And I smile. She did the same "I'm Samantha." She said. We talked and got to know each other we had most of the classes together and lunch Faith had the same lunch so they talked to. We all became good friends.

I still talked to the two girls from middle school, but as always they left me out, I was steel called, ugly and heavy. But I didn't care I learned to ignore the stupidity of the haters. That's what I called it. 10th grade Faith moved away, I was really sad because she left she was my best friend I never so her again we talked but every moment we were growing apart we didn't talk that much.

I started talking to other people that brought a lot of drama to my life I skipped classes, I talked back to my teachers. I felt in love for the first time. We talked a lot he texted me every day made me feel special like nobody else made me feel. But he broke me, I over hurt him talking with another guy saying how fat I was and that I was ugly I cried so bad my heart was shattered. He steel talked to me after that and I did to I didn't want to let go, because he was the only one that made me feel wanted, but I realized how wrong I was, so I pushed him away and I didn't trust anyone sense than.

I pushed everyone that got closed to me away. I didn't want to get hurt again because if I got close to another person Again I would get hurt so I pushed them away because eventually they were going to live my life. So why trust someone that won't be there in the future.

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Thank you for reading.

This first chapter have a lot of hints of my real life problems. So for those that catch the parts that were nonfiction and the parts that are fiction you guys are awesome. ;) 

Night Babes!!