Freedom { Shownu Series }

Chapter 6

Changkyun stood outside the bathroom door pounding on it repeatedly. "Dude, you've been in there forever! Why is it taking you so long in the bathroom these days?"

"I'll be right out! Just hold on a minute!" yelled Shownu from behind the heavy, wooden door.

"The rest of us have to take showers today too, man. Step it up, hyung!"

"I heard you the first time," replied Shownu, allowing frustration to enter his tone.

Later, as Shownu sat at the kitchen counter, eating a bowl of cereal, Changkyun put his arms around his neck and hugged him from behind. Shownu shook him off and returned his attention to his cereal.

"Come on, man. Are you still pissed because I was teasing you about taking too long in the bathroom? I was just messing with you. No need to get in a huff about it."

"I'm not in a huff," Shownu said dully while stirring his cereal in a circle with his spoon.

"Well, something is wrong because you are all over the place these days. You can't concentrate in rehearsal. You're annoyed constantly. You're not eating right. Like seriously, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," said Shownu, unconvincingly.

"Well, it's gotta be something because you've really been weird for like two weeks now, at least."

Shownu made no response, but stood up and put his bowl in the sink. He pushed past Changkyun and sat on the couch. He turned on the TV and began to click through the channels, never staying on any one more than a few seconds. Finally, he threw the remote down on the couch and grabbed his phone. He scrolled on it mindlessly for several seconds before Changkyun grabbed it from him and set it down on the coffee table.

"What the hell, man?"

"We have to talk," said Changkyun, placing his hand over the phone to keep Shownu from grabbing it again.

"Can I have my phone back?"

"You'll get it back when you tell me what the hell is wrong with you."

"I told you nothing's wrong."

"Right, and I didn't believe you. Something is up. So, let's get it out in the open so you can deal with it."

Shownu sighed. He knew his friend was right, but he didn't know how to even begin to talk about it. It would be easier if it were just about him, but he didn't want to violate Leann's privacy. "OK, if we talk, it has to stay between us, alright?"

"Sure," replied Changkyun as he propped his feet up on the coffee table, signaling that he was there for as long as it took for his friend to unburden his heart.

Shownu let out a long exhale. "Do you remember that Seinfeld episode where they are all trying to be 'master of their domain' and Seinfeld is dating a virgin?"

Changkyun laughed. "Yeah, I remember that one. Don't tell me you are in the same boat?"

Shownu's rueful face was all it took to answer his question. Changkyun burst out in laughter, slapping the edge of the couch as he rolled back and forth.

"Well, I'm glad you can find humor in it," said Shownu. "Laugh it up, buddy! I hope the same damn thing happens to you someday and I will laugh my ass off at your pain. How about that?"

Changkyun grabbed the arm of the couch and took in a deep breath, trying to control his laughter. He forced his face into a serious expression which only lasted a few seconds before returning to his wide grin.

"You're right. You're absolutely right," replied Changkyun, struggling once again to push his laughter down only to find it re-erupting.

"See, I knew I couldn't talk to you about this."

"No, really, dude. I'm good. I'm good." Shownu's desperate face finally calmed his friend's gleeful laughter. "I'm listening, for real, man," he said as he patted Shownu soundly on the back.

"Well, this is the thing," Shownu renewed his train of thought. "I'm having trouble keeping things under control. Like, she wants to kiss all the time, which is great, but..." his voice trailed off.

"I get it. You're having trouble training your dragon. Is that it?" laughed Changkyun.

"Could you be serious for like one moment, please?" scolded Shownu.

"No, I'm deadly serious. I feel you, man. You don't want to overstep her boundaries, but you're losing your mind at the same time. I've got you, man."

"So, what do I do about it? I don't want to push her to do anything she isn't ready for and I know she's right to wait. Like, I know she's right." One last time, he repeated it to try to drive it deep into his head. "I know she's right."

"You know what I do when I'm in a situation like that?"

"No, what do you do? Help me out here, man."

"It easy. See, there's this auntie in my neighborhood who has lost all of her teeth. So, anytime I need to rein it in, I just think of Old Auntie Toothless gumming on a piece of lemongrass. It works every time."

"That's gross!"

"Exactly!" agreed Changkyun.

"Somehow, I think I'm beyond the help of even your neighborhood auntie," Shownu mused.

"Oh, that is bad. Well, listen. In all seriousness, I think you guys need to have a talk. Like you need to tell her that you need to cool things off for a bit."

"Yeah, but how do I do that without making it seem like I am mad at her or I don't like her anymore?"

"That's the tricky part," admitted Changkyun, absently grabbing a fidget spinner from the coffee table and giving it a quick whirl.

"So, we're back to square one and I feel like you've been no help at all beyond just laughing your ass off."

"It's what I do," shrugged Changkyun. "It's what I do."

Shownu put his head in his hands and leaned over weakly. "I'm really at the end of myself."

"Honestly, I think you just need to have a talk with her. Tell her that you can't go careening toward the edge of the cliff all the time and expect the brakes to save you. You need her to help you out. You just need to say that."

"Easier said than done," replied Shownu. "I mean, it seems like this is my problem to solve, right? She's not the one with the problem. It's me."

"Nah, I wouldn't be so quick to assume that it's only you. She's probably struggling just as much as you. I'm not sure why people always think girls have less of a sex drive than boys, but it's not true. She's probably just as bad off as you are. She just doesn't want to break her own moral code."

"Yeah," sighed Shownu. "I guess it's time for a talk with her. Pray for me, man."

"I will," said Changkyun as he playfully punched Shownu's arm. "Sounds like your ass really needs it," he said, suppressing another laugh.