honestly i feel numb. nobody understands me like he does.
vinnie hacker.
we share our pain equally, i can cry on his shoulder and he can cry on mine. we've seen each other at our worst .
we planned to runaway and live together since we were 14 , we've been through everything together. he was with me when my father randomly tried to re-enter my life after 10 years . i was with him when his parents were having marriage issues , we used to go to the beach , our quiet safe space. he was my closest friend, he was the person i trusted with my life. we do everything together even the smallest things , school projects , skip class occasionally, we'd even go to the high school dance together.
we never got tired of each other , we bonded through our pain , we bonded through the way we both felt. he makes me feel safe. there's nobody else i'd rather talk to , there's nobody else i'd rather be best friends with. i can't talk to anyone else my mother doesn't believe in all of this whole "mental health, depression,anxiety shit" , in fact i couldn't talk to her about it because she was the one who caused some of these things , i know it's not her fault because sometimes she doesn't even realise when she's comparing me to others , when she makes me feel like i'm not good enough instead of praising me for the things i do well. i'm used to it because that's the way i've been brought up , if i were to have kids i'd treat them differently to how i was brought up. vinnie knew that , he understood, when i was ranting to him. he listened.
we have a love for each other , we never really explored it because we didn't want to risk breaking whatever we already had , we both agreed and deepened our friendship. he'd always talk to me about everything, he'd ask me for advice because he knows i know him more than he knows himself, that's what we loved about each other , the way we'd only been friends for a few years but we knew every little detail about each other's lives. we'd tell each other our problems, and then we'd find a way to overcome them together.i loved how he reassured me whenever i was in doubt , how he'd told me what to do when i wasn't sure. i loved how he'd never leave me . i loved how we made each other feel . i loved the sense of escape he gave me whenever we were together.
he made me feel safe.
he made me feel free.
author note
idk where this came from honestly this is so personal and i wanted it write it so i tried my best to put vinnie in there. thank you guys for 17k , 18k, 19k , 20k , 21k+ reads i love you all thank you for the support and all the love , i really do appreciate you and everything you guys have done for me. happy new years in advance . please i'm always open to talk if you guys need anything.
-love jordyn x
