Letters to Calum

One

Dear Calum,

I found our scrapbook today. Each picture had a new memory attached to it, a memory that I will never forget no matter what.

I found a picture of us sitting at your parents' dinner table during Thanksgiving, when we traveled to Australia for me to meet your family. Your mum told you to keep me, because she saw something special in me, and something unexplainable in your eyes when you looked at me. Since that very day, I've never forgotten those words. I'd do anything to see that look of love gazing into my eyes again.

I found a picture of us from when we went to Georgia, and rented that three story house. Hell, we saved up for so long to afford that trip. I remember every single activity we did, especially the hike to the mountain top. I remember the pressured wind blowing against us, cooling us off from the previous exercise. And how we took that picture of the scenery, and how a total stranger took a photo of us with the beautiful background. I remember emailing that photo to your mum, and I remember her showing us on video chat that she framed it and hung it in the living room, because she needed a picture of you looking happy, with something that made you happy. I miss making you happy.

I found a picture of us from when we snuck out to the beach at two in the morning, and the giant waves were irresistible. We ran into the ocean fully clothed, and we couldn't have cared less. If only we'd thought about what our parents would think when they found our soaking wet clothes the next day.. I just miss you so much. Even as the waves pummeled against us, we still held hands in the moonlight. We kissed, though the salt from the waves crashing against us was interfering with the natural taste of your lips. But nothing made the feel of your lips bitter. I miss the feel of your lips. I miss the feeling of being free. I always felt free with you. And now without you, I feel trapped again. Trapped walking that never ending, empty road which leads nowhere that we call life. I need you.

Most of the time we'd have too much to drink. We'd be so wasted; we'd laugh at everything, even if it wasn't funny. We were too young to give a shit. Too young to care about anything but each other. I miss you. I miss you so fucking much.

Come back, Calum.

I want our memories back.

I want you back.

You were the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. Please.

Love,

Dani