Life changing ~ James Graham fanfic

Sleepless nights

Chapter 20:

I didn't get much sleep Wednesday night, I was to nervous. I was sleeping in my own bed, because I told james I was sick and didn't want him to catch it. He thinks I'm going to the doctors today, but I told him not to come, because I needed to ask female questions, and I didn't want him to be uncomfortable. Finally I got some sleep and woke up around 12:00 which meant I still had 3 hours to get ready before I needed to leave. I went down to the kitchen to get some breakfast, the boys were still in there pyjamas, and eating there breakfast. I poured myself some cereal and went to sit down next to jake, I got half way through my breakfast, before I felt nauseous, and had to run to the bathroom to be sick, all the boys frantically ran after me, to make sure I was okay. James was the first through the door and bent down beside me rubbing my back. "Katie r u okay?" Reece asked me concerned, "Yh I'm fine, I'm just still a bit under the wether" I replied while cleaning myself up he gave a reassuring nod. Next time I checked the clock it said 2:30 I decided I better get ready, I put on my faded jeans and found one of james baggy hoodies lying on the floor, I needed a part of him with me today. I tide my hair into a messy side braid and added a little concealer and my regular mascara. I picked up my bag and headed out the door trying to be unnoticeable.
Once I got to the clinic I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I knew it was the guilt building up. I then gradually walked myself over to the desk told them my name and they asked me to take a seat. It only took 20 minutes before a young women called me into a room. I followed her and she talked me through what was going to happen... "Okay Mrs, Mota you will take this pill.......... After that I wasn't listening, I was thinking about what james would say if he found out and how cruel it would be to do this to him. I promptly stood up and explained that I couldn't go through with it, I then got into my car and headed back to the house....