No Thanks, I'm Not Hungry [COMPLETED]

Chapter 12: Back to Back

August, 7, 20XX

Dear Diary,

        She's been hitting me and pushing me around a lot more often.... She'll have her periods of 'Oh I love you sweetheart.' but then it quickly shifts to, 'Fuck me you stupid ass bitch.'

        I wear more of my guy clothes just so my dad doesn't notice the bruises forming on my body. It's never my face, mostly my torso that's abused. I'm depressed and angry that I have to endure this. All because she has nudes of me and sex photos of me with another guy from when I was super drugged... I cut my arms to vent a little, but it's mainly a distraction. Sometimes it helps, but afterwards it sometimes makes me feel worse.

        I'm losing more weight and my dad's super worried about me. He tries to make me eat more fast food just so I can gain the weight back, but I throw it up afterwards because my stomach can't handle it. You can see my ribs more and hey! I have that thigh gap I wanted.... (Note the sarcasm) 

        I try to stay inside more to hide away from the world because right now I'm a mess... I can't sleep and I'm always dizzy... Everything's going down hill... Let's just hope I don't die from all this madness....

        Oh yeah and Riley even mentioned the possibility of being pregnant! I've ruined my life too. She's says that if she is she's keeping it so we'll stay together. She's insane... It scares me. If she is pregnant, the first chance I get, I'll runaway with the baby because something innocent doesn't deserve a mother like that.

        The situation is back to back. Back to back.... All over again. Repeating and repeating....

        Good god life is too fucked up for words to describe...  but hey... Don't fucked up people make out alive at the end? 

        Here's to hoping,

                ~Phoenix Eli  |: