Social Work

Part 12

My Nujabes playlist had helped me get through some tough times and today was no different. My fingers danced gracefully across my keyboard as Counting Stars played gently from my Bose desktop speakers. Ed bought the speakers for me as a gift when I moved into this office, which was an upgrade from the glorified closet I was in previously.

I came across yet another email from Musaad. I hadn't responded to the one he sent last week, and he apparently hadn't taken the hint. I opened it. Not with the intention of responding. But to take my mind off of the doctor's appointment I suddenly had tomorrow. I rolled my eyes as I read the first sentence.

"Hey Miss Lady, how are you?" I heard in Musaad's voice. My mind drifted off to the last time he and I spent time together. It was late. Ed hadn't come home and clearly wasn't planning to. Musaad called me up and asked if I wanted to have a drink at his place and I half-heartedly accepted.

I arrived at Musaad's place and before I could even knock, he was opening the front door. Shirtless and wearing gray sweatpants. "You slut" I thought to myself. I knew the purpose of the gray sweatpants, commando.

Musaad was the exact opposite of Ed. Ed was a tall, handsome, tree of a man with piercing blue eyes and hands like baseball mitts. Musaad was my height, slim but muscular. His dark chocolate skin was smooth and soft. Eyes dark as coal and deep like the ocean. Musaad had a smile that could light up the world. And the gray sweatpants revealed what I considered to be the icing on the cake.

I stepped inside and immediately noticed the candles everywhere. The whole sitting room was aglow with all of these beautifully scented little orbs and a soft blanket replaced the mahogany coffee table that was usually the focal point of the room.

On the blanket was a silver platter filled with fruits and cheeses, some prosciutto and those fancy ass crackers I always laughed at. Clearly Musaad was trying to be romantic, but that wasn't the type of thing we had. Musaad handed me a Jameson, neat, and flashed that megawatt smile before licking his lips and looking at me from toe to head.

"Mmm. How you doin Miss Lady? I'm glad you came through tonight. I missed you." He said while biting his bottom lip. "I'm good. Hey, thanks for the drink!" I replied as I sipped and allowed the Jameson to warm my belly.

"So you not gonna acknowledge all this work I put in getting ready for you? Come on girl. When's the last time a man really treated you. I mean really? I know your husband ain't hittin that thang right, that's why you be calling me. But I'm trynna be more than just your play thing, you know what I'm sayin? I'm trynna be your everythang. Ha."

He sounded so proud and full of himself. My vagina had never been drier. "O-K Saad. Listen. This thing, between us, is never gonna be......this" I said as I pointed at the candles and charcuterie he had set up. "This was supposed to be fun. No strings attached because, what? I'm already attached. Now I feel like we can't do this anymore because you've decided you want more than I can give."

The look on Musaad's face told me he was hurt. Or at least his pride was hurt. Before he could speak I apologized. "Saad, I'm sorry. This is my fault. Every situation I've ever been in has been my fault. I'm not trying to hurt you. But I see now that I have to change my behavior if want these patterns I find myself in to change. So I'm gonna go. Thank you for the drink. Thank you for spending time with me. But I can't do this anymore."

I placed the whisky glass on the table near the front door and walked out. I didn't give him a chance to try to talk me into staying. I was afraid I might stay and continue to drink and end up in his bed. At that moment I knew that's what I did NOT want. I walked swiftly across the street, got into my car and headed home.

That was the last time I had spoken to Musaad. And that was precisely why I had no intention of responding to his email. Eventually he would catch the hint and stop trying to contact me. Even with my divorce from Ed being imminent, I wasn't interested in rekindling what Musaad and I had months ago.