I Had Something To Believe In...

-Chapter 4-

After two hours of waiting at the hospital, Ben was finally allowed to see Sky. He sat holding the still unconscious boy's hand, waiting for the results of his tests. He genuinely had no idea why he wasn't awake yet because he had only passed out, right?

It was another half an hour before a doctor came and spoke to Ben. He knocked on the door and Ben chirped a small "Come in".

The doctor entered the room and asked "Are you family?'.

Ben doubtfully shook his head 'no'. "No, I'm his boyfriend, Ben. I'm the closest person he has out here. We are on tour at the minute and his family is on the other side of the country." He explained. 

"Okay... Normally we wouldn't be able to give you any information at this time, but because of the circumstances I will allow it".

"What's wrong with him? Why isn't he awake yet?".

"All in good time, Ben. I want to talk about his injuries first. So we heard that he has injured it before. What happened?".

"Erm, he shattered his knee bone and there was cartilage damage. He had to have surgery on it about 4 months ago, I think it was. He was in hospital for five days and they had to put him in intensive physiotherapy for around two months. It was all a bit chaotic really. He's a dancer and he was devastated when he got injured because he had to quit tour. Thankfully, they let him rejoin about three weeks ago, but I knew that it had still been causing him pain. Then today, our director was really angry, because last nights show was pretty crap, and he made us do this one part over and over again. It was never easy for Sky because we would slam down onto chairs, and it made his knee go really stiff and sore if we did it a lot. He also slipped today and I think  that hurt him too. From what I know, when he injured it really badly today, he went to do an aerial without his knee brace on and then landed funny and fell. That's all I know. Is he going to be okay?"

"We won't be one hundred percent sure until we operate-"

"Operate? Again?" Ben sounded really panicked because an operation meant it was serious. 

"Yes, operate. From the scans we can see that it was dislocated and we had to pop it back into place, but we think there is cartilage damage again. The scan wasn't clear though, and the sooner we get in to operate the better."

"How soon? And why isn't he awake?"

"Hopefully later on today. There is an opening in the operating theatre at around 6 o'clock so we have scheduled him in for then. He also suffered a concussion when he hit the ground. We don't know how serious it is yet, but once he wakes up then we will know. It isn't anything major but all of this means he will be out of work again. It could be a few weeks, it could be months, or unfortunately it could be permanently."

"P-permanently?... Oh, god."

"And because we don't have all of his medical records here, we need to ask you a few questions. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, yeah that's fine."

"Okay. Do you know if Sky's had any previous illnesses that he's been in hospital for?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Alright. And has he had any previous surgeries before?"

Ben thought for a moment and went quiet. 

"Ben?..."

"Um, sorry. No, no he hasn't. Except for the one on his knee." He replied quickly. 

"Okay. And does he have any ongoing medical conditions that we should know about?"

"I don't think so, no."

"Sounds good. I'll be back in a little while. He might wake up between now and the surgery, but if not then don't panic because it isn't anything serious. His body needs to rest anyway."

"Thank you, doctor." He says as the doctor leaves the room to go and tell Chris the same information. Ben sits with Sky and keeps ahold of his hand. He knows he won't lose him, but everything from the accident just comes back to him in one massive wave and he loses control. He sobs into his hands, finally letting go of Sky, feeling like the worst boyfriend ever. If he wasn't away making out with Josh, then this might've never happened. He could've stopped him from doing that stupid aerial. Stopped him from damaging his knee again. Stopped him from being trapped  in a hospital bed, unable to walk for days without help. He could've stopped it all, just like he could've stopped the accident if he wasn't arguing with him. 

"I'm so sorry Sky, so fucking sorry." He cried, taking hold of his hand again and kissing the back of it. 

"Why are you sorry?..." Said a croaky voice from the other end of the hospital bed. 

"Sky, baby, you're awake." He exclaimed as he wiped his own tears. Crying felt stupid now because he hadn't faced anything, and Sky had gotten it all. He had gotten all of the shit thrown at him when Ben felt like he deserved it for being such a bad person. He truly loved Sky and yet he still felt the need to cheat on him with his best friend. How low could you get to do that to someone you loved so deeply?

"Yeah... Where am I?" He asked, looking around the room. 

"You're in the hospital, sweetheart. You fell, remember?" Ben sounded a little worried but sweet at the same time. Sky, however, stayed quiet. He didn't say anything else and he just stared down at the thin sheet covering his legs. "Baby?...". Suddenly, tears just started to fall down his cheeks, and not from the physical pain he was in either. "Hey, hey, shhh. You're gonna be okay. Everything is gonna work out just fine." Ben comforted him as he climbed onto the bed next to him. He hugged him gently and made sure not to move his leg at all. 

"What did the doctor say?" Sky asked after eventually calming down.

"He asked me what happened last time and if there was anything else he needed to be aware of, medical wise."

"Did you tell him-..." Sky looked down slightly. 

"No. I couldn't. Not while you were asleep."

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, baby. It's what any decent human would've done anyway. But..." Ben sighed. "He said that you'll need surgery on your knee. He said that they think there is more cartilage damage, but they won't know how serious it is until they operate. You're scheduled in for six tonight."

"Ben... I..."

"I know, baby. I know. I promise it will all be okay and I'll be with you every step of the way."

"I don't wanna go back into surgery. Not for this anyway." He notioned down to his leg.

"It's going to be okay. Everything is going to work out just fine. You'll be back in the theatre in no time." 

"I really hope so Ben. All of this, it reminds me of..."

"I know. You don't need to tell me. Just try not to think about what happened too much because you'll just freak yourself out." 

Sky nods slowly and hugs himself even closer to Ben. He started to drift off to sleep, but he had to ask Ben something. "Why didn't you tell them? About the other surgery?..."

"Because it wasn't my story to tell. And I won't tell them, I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. I love you, Sky, and if they don't then they don't deserve you."

"Thanks Ben... I'm sorry that I'm not good enough for you..."

"What?! No, no, you're perfect for me. You are more than enough."

"I really don't feel like it. I know you know about it but no one else does, not even Josh... I feel like I am lying to them all."

"Baby, no. You don't need to tell any of them anything, not even the doctors. You are you, and that's good enough. I love you for who you are now, and I don't care about who you used to be."

"Okay... I love you Ben, so much."

"I know you do, and I love you too."