Hokage's assistant

The mistake

The golden light of morning warms up your face and you gently open your eyes, your minds still numb with sleep. As you become more and more conscious of your surroundings, waves of memories from last night flush in. You sit up and look around you, then spot Kakashi at his desk, looking busy, light radiating from behind him surrounding him with a vibrant aura. You look at his hand but all you see is his hand on your thigh. You would like to sit on his lap, his lips on your neck, his voice whispering hungrily I want you too

"hokage-sama, I still haven't finished the report from last night, do you mind looking at it for me?" you ask him, laying on your tummy, supporting your head with a hand. He doesn't respond, and keeps writing.

"All days start like this in heaven" you chuckle. He doesn't make any gestures; you're getting worried, stand up in front of his desk, not caring that you are completely naked

"Kakashi?" you ask prudently

"I'll head to a meeting now, I'll announce you'll be late" he says without looking at you. As he leaves, you extend your hand and block him

"Please, what happened? Last night was-"

"We were both drunk and-"

"I wasn't drunk" you eagerly interfere, afraid you might have said something wrong, hoping you can fix this, "just a little tipsy. Fully myself." he sighs and continues

"Last night I was drunk and made a mistake" he says pushing down your hand and moving on "I thought you wanted to wake up and forget about it" he says and leaves.
A misunderstanding, that must be it! You said you had been looking forward to the morning when what had happened would have been nothing but a memory and he must have thought you meant him, but you meant the Obito and Rin thing. That's ok, you'll settle this and get him back and everything will be alright. 

You try to talk to him the entire day, but Kakashi doesn't let you get closer and you can't find any openings to be alone with him. You toss him messages and airplanes but he completely disregards them, even when they land in his hands.
This is not rejection, this is him being hurt by you, right? You can still fix this, right? Was he drunk? Does he really regret it?

You catch him training on the roof of the building, people still around, but no one close enough to hear. You plan to catch him by surprise, kiss him and tell him everything. As he lounges forward, kunnai in his hand, you jump in and accidentally take a hit in your shoulder, his face too far from yours, his hand still on the knife in your shoulder, preventing you from leaning in

"It wasn't a mistake for me!" you wail "It's something I've been hoping for for so long. I've always... felt... this way... for you. I tried to hold it in as best as I could because we work together and you're the hokage and I didn't dare step too close. I know it must have been obvious and embarrassing but I thought you're not interested and I stopped. But now that I know you feel the same then maybe it can work because I really wish every office day would end like last night! I've fallen for you so har-", you try to touch his hand with yours but he retrieves it, scared and confused, kunnai still in, not too deeply but deep enough to hurt.

"Y/n" he says in a pained tone that breaks your heart "I already know all of this. But I really can't"

"Ow" you say as you let yourself fall backwards, over the edge of the building, quickest way out, "I understand, hokage-sama" you look empty, your mind blank, you could almost hear the sound of your heart shattering.
You change positions mid-air and brace for a smooth landing. In those seconds while you fall, your mind is dizzy from trying to process what happened.
He even asked if I could be a little more than an assistant! That was so cruel. He was drunk, life seemed different maybe. But I can't work like this anymore. I need to quit my job or I will die. What will I do? I'll find something else. I could be a sensei, I've been tutoring the hokage  - tutoring genins can't be that hard. Iruka-sensei, the principal, was a classmate of yours, he'll give you a job for sure, yeah, that's settled. You can't keep this job, it's too painful.  
In the last few seconds before impact, you see Kakashi darting over and extending his hand towards you
Too late to catch me now.
You get ready to land, knees bent, arms ready to disperse the shock of the impact - you have jumped from higher highs, this is not something that worries you, but getting teleported out of the blue is definitely not how it usually goes.