[M] I HATE MY FUCK BUDDY | YEONBIN

IHMFB : THE MESSAGE (2)

YEONJUN'S POV

No one deserves to be labeled by their past, especially those who are trying to be better.

Strong people cry too. Strong people get sad too. Strong people break too. We just do it quietly. We often rebuild ourselves silently and keep ourselves moving, because we are alive. We need to be alive, at least.

Because honestly, you don't need those eyes that will look on you just to be alive. No.

You just need to exist.

All decisions are risky. So, even if you are not sure, give it a try. Even if you are a little scared, try anyway. It is more difficult to live full of regrets and what ifs. If it doesn't work, then at least you know in yourself that you did your best.

If you know that you stand for a reason, be prepared to stand alone like a tree, and if you fall on the ground, fall like a seed that grows back to fight again.

The truth is... we aren't hard to love.

No one is hard to love.

Maybe sometimes we get too much. We get too angry, too quiet, or say things we don't really mean.

But with all that, still, I'm very thankful that there were some people who stayed and loves me with all of my different moods.

Life comes with good and bad times. If people can't be there for the worse, how is it they deserve the best?

We aren't too much for the right person for us.

Like an antique furniture— you can't just sell them at pawn shops and expect a very high value. Sell them at museums, and you might get shocked knowing its price.

In short, you will be valued in the place where you really belong to.

Don't force yourself to be anything. Don't push yourself to do something you can't. Because that's fine. It's fine. Being imperfect is perfectly fine.

Now, you know guys, Soobin still has these little moments of anxiety, when he thinks he doesn't deserve me, and he's scared he might lose me.

But he doesn't understand— that I was never a man worth having until he gave me the freedom to be myself, and there is no fucking way I'll ever let that go.

I'm thankful that I'm with someone who loves me harder on days I can't love myself at all.

Because that's love, isn't it? It doesn't need to be perfect. It needs to be true.

Ever since I met him, I always thought that— am I crazy? That I can feel so sad and so happy at the same time?

That it feels like he's completing me again, but there I was— so, so fucking afraid, scared to face the reality. The reality that wow, there's still a paradise in this world. And yeah, I got lost in it. Lost in his eyes.

Those eyes that gave me hope. That gave me a reason to change and accept myself. I was indeed too afraid back then, and I don't regret anything. Because if I wasn't like that back then, then maybe I won't be here. Finally happy again.

No one can change anyone, indeed, but someone can be a reason to change.

And I found him.

My Choi Soobin.

To my baby, prettiest human in my eyes, to my moon, sun, biggest star, my whole universe, my prettiest flower, to my cutie babie bunny, to my home person— Choi Soobin, I love you so much.

To my Choi Soobin, I just wanna say that— I will choose you today, you tomorrow, you always, you only, and still you until the day I die.

I will keep choosing you, even in the days that you can't choose me, and that's final.

I'll love you constantly, consistently, and continuously.

YEONJUN'S LATEST POST

choi_yj

♡ liked by binbinie.choi and 1,008,539 others

choi_yj : YO, I'M MARRYING MY FIRST LOVE. I WON, GUYS. I WON.
view comments...

lucy22 : FIRST LOVE??? THEN WHO THE FUCK AM I?

beombeom.bear : @lucy22 soon to be my wife. @choi_yj @binbinie.choi yo, can y'all block lucy, it seems like she turned on y'all's notifs just to be updated, i'm getting jealous.

choi_yj : @lucy22 irrelevant. i'm literally in love with him before fucking anyone in the school.

binbinie.choi : @lucy22 it hurts, isn't it? when u thought u r someone's first love? 👉😔👈

ji_hoon : congrats! ❤️

itsmejustin : @binbinie.choi @choi_yj congrats, choi's.

———
To Choi Soobin,
your existence makes my world a magical place.