What We Didn't Tell Each Other

- chapter 3: "how about you?" -

Alex and I are no longer 30 minutes into the movie we started when I look over to find him sleeping. I smile to myself at the boyish look he has even in the comfort of his sleep, lower the volume of the TV, and lay myself more comfortably next to him. Without much thought and more instinct and habit than anything else, I loop my left arm under his neck to wrap around his shoulder and start to caress and play with his hair with my right hand. He wakes up slightly and grabs my right leg and puts it over his lap. For a moment, I'm startled and caught off guard, also slightly embarrassed, but just as quickly as he does that, he falls back asleep.

My hand instantly runs through all the places it used to from when we used to cuddle before and an almost guilty pleasure type of happiness courses through me, but not even a guilty type of pleasure, more of a "I feel like I'm home again" type of comforting pleasure.

I try to watch the movie as I play with his hair, but then I feel his head move. I look over at him and he's facing me now, smiling. "Hey, Tanya," he whispers. I stop playing with his hair, but then he says, "Nah, nah, you can still play with it if you'd like, it's actually really nice and for someone who wants to be a surgeon, you sure have the hands for it."

I cheerily smile at him and whisper, "Thanks, but do you want me to drive you home? Your parents are probably worried that you've been out for a while."

"Nah, I told them I was sleeping over at a friend's," he whispers back, his tone soft and voice somewhat raspy from having just woken up.

I giggle. "So you had this all planned? You knew you'd end up in my bed?" I tease.

"Not necessarily," he responds, eyes closed again and now he's smiling. "I actually didn't expect the night to go as well as it did. It was all kind of spontaneous and to be honest, I was expecting you to kick me out the moment you saw me standing at your front door. Plus, I thought I would be sleeping over at one of my guy friend's houses if things did end up blowing up in my face."

I smile to myself, turn my face towards the TV again, and say, "Well, I'm glad you showed up. I'm sorry for cussing you out at the door" -- which I did -- "but I'm glad you managed to charm your way into my house only to make fun of me for studying."

He turns his body towards me so I pull my left arm back to my side, turn towards him, and intertwine my right leg between his. He grabs my left hand with his right and we keep them between us, he then rests his left hand on my chest and says, "I'm glad I'm here too, but why's your heart racing so damn fast?" He laughs and locks eyes with me.

The LED lights in my room are a dark blue and they cause a dim vibe, making him look super alluring. He'd be alluring even without the LED lights, you idiot, I admit to myself. I take a breath of air and say, "I don't know. I guess it's the movie. It's kinda scary."

He laughs and clasps my jaw and cheek in the palm of his left hand now. "Stupid, you're not even paying attention to the movie." He looks over at the TV and back at me. "I get it's a horror movie too, but what's so scary about a family eating dinner right now?" He's laughing but keeping his volume low.

I look over at the screen. "I mean...it's the vibe. Kinda scary. It's the music or something, I can feel it in my chest. Y'know, horror movies actually use certain hertz in music that we can't hear but that our body physiologically reacts to to create a psychological fear." I attempt, stupidly.

Alex doesn't say anything for a moment, but in less than a few seconds it seems, he bursts out laughing. "You're so smart it's stupid." Then he starts to play with my hair with the hand he had on my face and says, "And how about you shut up and kiss me?" My eyes widen and I almost choke. He sees my reaction and whispers, "That is, if you want. But if not, then that's cool. I just think that we both can come to the agreement that whatever happened earlier we can forget about and whatever happens now, we can pretend never happened either. Plus, who's to say we're not dreaming right now?"