Nova's Reign

Okay but its MY normal

Nova.
Texas..
10:30am...

"Nova! Come on!"

I rolled over holding the flimsy pillow over my ears while looking at my vibrating phone. It was 10:30am and once again I was beyond late.

"Ughhh, fuck."

I swear, I don't even know why the FUCK she even bothers sending me to that dumbass school when it's a waste of fucking time!

"Nova get up!" My mother yelled.

"Alright already! shit."

Hey, I'm Nova reign, an 18 year old girl in the middle of texas. It's not what you think it is. We don't ride fucking horses everyday and say fucking howdy. That's so damn stupid. It's like me saying people from Cali ride fucking surf boards to school and have pet sharks... anyway I'm off track. I tend to do that a lot.

I would say I rolled off the bed but I didn't. I stayed there. My heart was racing and my body had a tingling hot and cold feeling. It was itchy on every surface of my skin and traveled from my feet to my spine.

This must be what it feels like to be in a coma. For your whole body to be asleep ,but you're just inside screaming and fighting. Struggling so hard to open your fucking eyelids to only flinch.

How the fuck could you stay in a dark space that fucking long? Just sitting in fucking air. With no floor, ceiling or walls but not float.... To just be in your own existence just thinking about the darkness you're surrounded by. Not the memories of the good times or the "light" they talk about ,but just empty space.

I have no fucking idea either. But my mind says that I do. It says I'm gonna die soon from some freak accident. Maybe the fan might fall on me in my sleep, or the damn power socket will burst into flames some how and set me a blaze.

Ugh. That shit would suck. But not as bad as the time I was in the psych ward at six, I hated it there. Or the time I was put in juvie for pouring bleach in my bullies water bottle. Or even the time I had to get my damn stomach pumped from all the damn pills I took at once. Now that shit was for the birds.

Don't get it twisted you dumbasses, I'm the fucking victim here! According to bipolar disorder, maniac depression, anxiety, and all these fuck ass medications it's not my fault either.

How'd I end up so fucked up? I don't know ask my damn creator.... and I don't mean god or even the damn writer of this book ,but my mother.

A fucking druggy. Not the average one on fucking narcotics, pills, and dirty needles but one that was high and drunk off life. Not in a good way though.

I swear if I'd known stress would fuck up an unborn child this bad I would've kept my ass upstairs in the clouds and picked a different route. If I were my mother well........ let's just say I wouldn't be too nice with my pathetic father.

He was successful, had shit for a heart ,but man do business people love a cold man. Just about more than they love fucking their underaged maid that their kids practically were raised by. But I mean hey, wouldn't you reward the women who did all the actual work or in some cases.... the man who did all the work?

Well that's what fucking air headed bitches will get you!

Don't ask me how the fuck I know all this shit when I stay in the gotdamn room every waking moment. It's just the way my brain works. I create unrealistic scenarios in my head. You know, the ones that don't really have a starting point or an ending.... it just fucking appears.

Sometimes I feel like I've stepped outside of myself and a different person has taken over while I watched. Other times, I didn't even know why the fuck I was so angry and then calm as if I'd defused the situation in my head and kept going. But the voices say other fucking wise.

I know what the fuck y'all are thinking and trust I've thought the same damn thing. This bitch is a fucking mess.... hm, hmmp. Why the fuck do you think I said I would've stayed my ass upstairs in the fucking clouds.

boom,boom,boom,boom

"Nova come on, not today your sister can't afford to be late it's - "

I've always wondered why the fuck I have the life I have now. Not that it's fucking horrible or anything but sometimes I wanna place myself in another life just to see if I'd miss my own. That'd be interesting.

"NOVA REIGN!"

"I SAID IM COMING! "

Damn why the fuck is she always fucking rushing me! I swear to god I hate it here! I fucking hate living this fake ass fantasy with these bitch ass goals that serve no fucking purpose! We're all gonna die any fucking way and it's just pointless!

"Ughhhhhh!"

I yelled stumbling into my bathroom and looking in the cracked mirror that resembled my damn mentality. As I was brushing my teeth;quite vigorously might I add. I began to think.

Why me? Why my mind and these particular thoughts. I know you think I'm pitying myself but it's not pity. Its confusion.

"Nova come on please, miss jones is serious about tardiness."

My little sister native murmured through my bedroom door. She was smart, generous, respectful and most of all stable. Everything I wasn't.

I hated that I couldnt be shit for her but a guide on what not to do and what not to be like. It's hard idolizing a fuck-up. I would know.

"I'm coming native. I'm walking out right now."

As soon as I opened the door her little seven year old body gripped my waist and her face cuddled into my stomach.

At times I swear I'll never understand why the fuck children are so damn forgiving and love unconditionally. It's like they're protected from the world in their own invisible bubble.

The only thing I had close to that feeling was being high. I mean smoking is cool... but pills.... that's my kind of high. The high I haven't felt since that damn overdose. But whatever it's life I guess.

I would insert some witty author note here about voting and shit ,but I'm still in character 🤷🏽‍♀️maybe next time💀